Stupid Rice Racers

Posted by: loren

Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 04:23

I live on a pretty busy main street in San Francisco, Geary Blvd. The corner my apartment occupies is at street level and is on the corner of two streets, where there is a stoplight, and is the last street before a short tunnel. I can't tell you how often, usually late at night, we hear cat free coffee can mufflers or street bikes revving like mad just before the light changes, and go screaming through the tunnel.

So just now I'm sitting here reading the BBS when I heard some guy revving insanely loud, so I flipped the shades up to see what was going on. It was a guy in his little banged out street rod covered in stickers, but oddly enough there was no one next to him he'd be racing... it was a Jeep Cherokee or similar. He kept hitting his rev limiter, a noise that just kills me to hear, but he just kept slamming into it and letting off. I saw the cross light turn yellow and was just waiting for him to burn his tires and fly off oh so annoyingly, when the green light flips... and he just sat there. I thought he just stalled out, but nope... he killed his engine. I was laughing my ass off. I watched him flip open his cell phone and his emergency flashers. hahah. Serves the guy right. He just rolled in neutral back to a parking spot and is pacing around his car on his phone. Good times. At least I can get some sick pleasure, after dealing with the noise for 2 years.
Posted by: matthew_k

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 04:34

I just want to say I was relieved to read through this entire post and not come accross one bad thing that had happened to your car. Sounds like an entertaining sight to see.

Matthew
Posted by: tonyc

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 04:35

Quote:
I just want to say I was relieved to read through this entire post and not come accross one bad thing that had happened to your car

Yeah, really, that's the first thing that went through my head. "Uh oh, Loren's posting about ricers.. He must have gotten sideswiped by a 'Type R' or something."

Maybe I should pay more attention to the post icons. Good stuff, Loren.
Posted by: wfaulk

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 12:29

Quote:
At least I can get some sick pleasure, after dealing with the noise for 2 years.

FWIW, the word you're looking for is "schadenfreude".
Posted by: treize

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 12:47

That story is great . i personally can't stand it when those lil wannabe racers rev there cars on you as you're going the opposite direction. when will people learn that adding a cold air intake in your car will not make it faster than a speeding bullet.
Posted by: tman

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 12:56

When will they learn that even after putting loads of expensive mods on a crap car you still get left with a crap car

The thing is that after spending all that money on mods, the car still isn't faster than a stock car of equiv price to the mods + old car.
Posted by: pca

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 13:06

Quote:
When will they learn that even after putting loads of expensive mods on a crap car you still get left with a crap car


Yes, you have to start with a good car. Then make the engine blue.

pca
Posted by: wfaulk

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 13:41

Blue paint easily gains you 5HP.
Posted by: tman

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 13:51

I thought that was stick on flames down the sides?
Posted by: lastdan

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 15:00

put an 80mm case fan next to your air filter. now that's power.
poor guy might have used 120mm case fan. that'll kill an engine if you don't use jet fuel.
Posted by: Ezekiel

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 15:51

To quote a great NH saying:

"You can't shine a turd."

-Zeke
Posted by: cushman

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 15:51

I thought it was:

Yellow = FAST!
Big Stickers = FAST!
Yellow Big Stickers = FAST!!!

Or something like that from beaterz.com or the riceboy page.
Posted by: treize

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 16:39

nah nah. you have to find the most ridiculous looking spoiler...preferably those lawn mower handle looking ones. then it's light speed for you
Posted by: drakino

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 17:00

Quote:
Blue paint easily gains you 5HP.

Bah, everyone knows Red things go faster.
Posted by: DWallach

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 18:00

Isn't this the time for somebody to start talking about color Doppler shift at relativistic speeds?
Posted by: wfaulk

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 20:03

I didn't say that red wouldn't get you at least 10. Maybe purple would get you, like, 12?
Posted by: mcomb

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 20:57

Quote:
you have to find the most ridiculous looking spoiler


Now where did that picture of the ricer with the ironing board on the back go. I know somebody posted it here in the last couple weeks...
Posted by: wfaulk

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 21:06

here

Posted by: Laura

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 05/11/2004 21:43

Ohmygosh! That car is just so wrong. I wonder if it's parked near a dumpster for a reason
Posted by: oliver

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 06/11/2004 19:03

Are those bullet holes in the rear quarter panel?
Posted by: jimhogan

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 06/11/2004 21:11

Quote:
Are those bullet holes in the rear quarter panel?

Prolly fakes .

Wow. What a culture. Fake bullet hole decals. What's up with that?
Posted by: wfaulk

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 07/11/2004 05:46

I was thinking they were probably holes drilled to fix a dent in the panel and never filled.
Posted by: andym

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 07/11/2004 07:58

Quote:
Are those bullet holes in the rear quarter panel?


Nope, they're speed holes....
Posted by: lectric

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 08/11/2004 01:19

And here I thought they were to imitate whistle tips.
Posted by: tanstaafl.

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 08/11/2004 09:57

here

I love that picture/that car!

The owner is doing such a delicious job of poking fun at all the riceboy racers.

If I had that car, I would enter it in every car show and "show 'n shine" we had in this town. I would stand by it with my hand resting proudly on the roof, and do my damndest to keep a straight face.

I am going to send that picture to Autoweek magazine for inclusion in their "But Wait -- There's More" page where they usually include a few "Pictures Without Captions" for amusement of the readers.

tanstaafl.
Posted by: canuckInOR

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 09/11/2004 05:46

Quote:
To quote a great NH saying:

"You can't shine a turd."


Well, actually, you can. One of the souvenirs (as reported in the newspaper) one could buy at the International Farm Festival held in Essex County, Ontario some years back (prior to '93, I think), was a shiny, shellacked cow pie. I do not have one, but I did want one.
Posted by: canuckInOR

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 09/11/2004 05:49

Quote:
nah nah. you have to find the most ridiculous looking spoiler...

Speaking of... on the way to LAX last week, I saw a car (I think it was a Dodge Intrepid, but I'm not certain) that had an aftermarket aluminum wing bolted on top of... the factory spoiler. Unfortunately, my camera was in the trunk.
Posted by: shadow45

Re: Stupid Rice Racers - 25/12/2004 04:28

not a rice racer, but there's a guy here in my town who has 18-wheeler Mac truck smokestacks, 3 ft long horns and a gigantic grill welded onto a mid 90s MUSTANG LS! It's the single most insane bit of work I've ever seen done on a car. seen it twice now, but no camera