A change in name...

This is a rather difficult post to make, however I count you as friends and would not attempt to pull the wool over your eyes.

As of Wednesday my wife and I have separated. Hopefully to be reconciled sometime in the future, but with no timeline or even conversation currently in place. My denomination's theology (and more importantly my own) does not allow for divorced ministers. So as of Wednesday I have resigned my position as Associate Pastor.

The issues leading to my current situation were and are completely my fault. My wife is truly blameless. Due to this I have chosen a new username since to use Reverend would be in my own eyes inappropriate.

I at this point see little reason to get into the details, and in fact many will wonder why I worry about this at all, but needless to say my sins have truly found me out as they usually do.

I write this in some fear that my indiscretions will cause further doubt in the minds of those that do not believe as I do. I would rather be honest however than feign righteousness.

Oh my.

I am sorry to hear about this, and I hope that things will work out for you. Have faith, and let me know if you need anything.

Paul.

michael,

i've gone through my share of dark and difficult times, and wish you all the best in getting through. be sure that better times do lie ahead.

--dan.

Sorry to hear that. I hope you'll be able to fix things in the future.

I write this in some fear that my indiscretions will cause further doubt in the minds of those that do not believe as I do.
I don't believe that will happen. For me personally it really doesn't change a thing. After all, we're all only human and he who is without sins...
I hope you aren't insulted when I say you'll probably always be regarded as "our Rev" here in the community.

Anyway, take care, and I hope all will turn out well for you.

Michael,
I am so sorry to hear this, please know that my prayers are with you. You have been a positive influence here (or at least on me) and it it's hard to see you go through something so difficult. I'm sure you realize you have many friends here who will do whatever we can to aid you in this time.

You'll find your way through this and be stronger for it. Keep faith.

Why are so many going through difficult times these days? Maybe someday all of us will find happier days.......

You are in my thoughts, and I wish you all the best in what I know must be a very difficult time.

Add my sympathies to the list.

I wish you, your wife, and your church the best.

My Girlfriend And I Of 2 Years Recently broke up, and im sure its not has hard as what you are going thru but i know the pain and the fire felt inside a heart all too well at this point.

I wish the best for you, if you need anything or someone to talk to PM me and we can arrange something.

My sympathies, thoughts, and prayers are with you. I know
the pain and I hope things work out well for you!

My thoughts are with you.

Michael, I know what a hard time you're going through. While my marriage didn't break up, it sure did feel like it was for a few days, if not longer. Don't lose faith. I don't know exactly what led to this, but it's easily possible that a few days apart might make you and her both realize what you have, even if it felt like it was missing for a while.

Personally, I don't believe that a religion that can't abide mistakes is one worth having, and one that makes you feel worse than I know you already do is hardly a positive influence. This is not to say that you should give it up, but it might be time to reconsider some specifics of it. In my opinion, it is more important for a minister, revered or not, to understand the problems of those that he ministers to, and no matter what happens, and I do hope it works out for the best, this experience can only help you help others, which is, I'm sure, what brought you to your vocation.

We all make mistakes, and anyone who claims that he hasn't is lying and not worthy of respect of any nature. I don't know what your problem is, but I'd hope that the people you minister to understand that you're the same as they are, and they've all had the same problems. You are not a surrogate for God, you are just a pathfinder for others searching.

However, I'm truly sorry that you're having problems. I have the feeling, though, that you're taking all the blame on yourself possibly too much. I know you don't want to blame your wife, and for all I know it is all your fault, but what's done is done. Blame doesn't help a thing, only repentance and rectification.

I'm rambling, but I know how this sort of thing can bring you down even further than the events themselves do. Don't let yourself slide down. Nothing can be gained by making it worse than it already is.

Good luck and good wishes.

I echo the sentiments of those who got to this thread before me, and hope you and your wife can resolve the differences in the future. As you are a guy who's used to guiding and counseling others, I hope you can find good guidance from those friends and family close to you. And, of course, your faith.

Hang in there, Rev^H^H^HMichael.

On a lighter note, hey Tom, can you hack in his title and post count from the other account? Rather insignificant compared to these issues, but every little bit helps, and it is a lot weirder seeing "New Poster" than it is "mwest".

Just to echo earlier sentiments. I will not see you any differently now beyond your different name. I've always had great respect for you and your contributions to our community.

Would that everyone faced their problems in such a forthright manner. My prayers are with you.

Michael, I grieve for your problems as though they were my own.

Rest assured that whatever problems you face, whatever blame you may place on yourself for these unfortunate circumstances, your reputation with me remains totally unblemished.

In the on-line exchanges we have had, even though I was not in agreement with what you said, I had utmost respect for what you said and especially the way you said it. That ability to charm and postulate with utmost logic while resisting all temptations to evangelize made you one of the most revered and appreciated posters on this bbs in an astonishingly short time.

I hope with all my heart that you, who have guided so many people to a better life, will be able to find your own path to happiness.

tanstaafl.

I'm sorry to hear all that. Call yourself what you like, though, a good man is a good man.

Peter

Personally, I don't believe that a religion that can't abide mistakes is one worth having, and one that makes you feel worse than I know you already do is hardly a positive influence.

Actually, the church has been really great about all this. There hasn't been any stigma placed on him whatsoever. (He's been staying with me this week). He removed himself from the position on the belief that if he can't be the spiritual leader for his household, he disqualifies himself to be the spiritual leader for other's households.

In todays age where so many people are so lacking in morals and ethics, I find it refreshing that Michael feels that he needs to take that step. There have been too many cases of (other) churches in other places sweeping far worse trangressions under the carpet.

Rev,
I hope that you realise that you don't get to chose whether people revere you or not. They do. I also hope that when you are done repenting, you will come to realise that you may be committing a larger sin; Matthew 25:14-30

Actually, the church has been really great about all this.

That's very good. I'm pleased. But, in addition, I meant for him to not be too hard on himself.

Best wishes, nonetheless.

Thank you all for your kind and caring words. In response to a couple posts and pm's, the church has been far more gracious than I deserve. No stereo typical deacons' meetings or harsh phone calls. Just loving people praying that my marriage is reconciled and my ministry restored.

I have nothing coherent to add to what other people here said, but to assure you that you and your wife have my best wishes and hope that all plays out well.

The issues leading to my current situation were and are completely my fault. My wife is truly blameless

no such thing in a relationship. But I feel for you.

all the best

I wanted to thank everyone on the board for helping me through the beginning of a very tough time in my life. All of your posts and pm's have been very helpful.

As a bit of update....

My wife and I have spoken, but its mostly housekeeping stuff so far...

I leave for Oklahoma today... In a 26 foot Penske truck hauling a Spyder on a trailer.... completely Empeg enabled of course.

And last but not least I got a job... District Sales Consultant for School Dynamics... a private school software company.

Again thank you all.

Some have asked so I thought I would update everyone in a more open format...

My wife filed for separate maintence in court on Tuesday, which is a step towards divorce. The only reason that a divorce has not been asked for is because she has to live in Oklahoma for 6 months first. So the short of it is that reconcilation is basically a forelorn hope. Oddly however, my wife and I are getting on better than we have in a long time. Our times together have been like spending time with a best friend and it hasn't felt like that in long time.

This post my be more theraputic than informative but I knew some would like to know what's going on... I enrolled in school for a second Bachelors in Computer Science and I've applied for some helpdesk positions at local companies. My sales job is promising but can't really support me.

On a lighter note: How do you decorate a room with an empeg as the focal point?

On a lighter note: How do you decorate a room with an empeg as the focal point?

Minimalist. Walls, floor, ceiling a plain color. Hidden amp and speakers. No furniture except for plain color comfortable seating, and perhaps somewhere to stick a beer or laptop whilst sitting there.
Custom stand for mounting a mlord dock on - Black powdercoated tubular frame - all wires hidden in tubes. Place prominently.

Oh - were you intending to use the room for other stuff too?

... actually your very close to what I was thinking. Hardwood floors, white walls and ceiling, flat panel tv hung on the wall with empeg mounted in the wall below, chair and half with ottoman, in wall or ceiling mounted speakers, all stereo equipment in a closet accessed by an infared repeater.

strike that... no flat panel... projection!

Greetings.

I am sorry to hear about the proceedings, but it sounds like your relationship has actually improved because of it. Best of luck, as always.

One thing I would add to the furnishings is a bit of artwork. Something small and tasteful - perhaps an enlarged image of the empeg mainboard, the traces and comments in a suitable frame. Of course, if you have a blank board (won as a prize, for example), you can always frame that...

Of course, a replica of Van Gogh's "Self Portrait With Bandaged Ear" might also be good, depending on your personal volume preferences...

I may use the 4 piece Katsuhiro Otomo Akira poster set.

That would also work...

Heck, if you're going to have visual stuff in there anyway...

Get a plasma. Make sure it has a VGA input and also an anti-burn in mode that can subtley shift images. Find a suitable quiet low power PC to stick in your audio cabinet, and set it to automatically cycle through some arty-farty images. Linux would rock for doing this - run X with no window manager, and have the startup script run xv -root -rm 5 -maxpect -wait 3600 -wloop somedir/*.jpg after X starts.
Find a carpenter to make a nice arty frame for the plasma so taht it looks like a painting hung on the wall.

Plain white room, empeg mounted into the wall about 2 feet off the floor, white sofa on the other side with a mirror above it, which is partially reflective and disguises the projector behind it. NXT flat speakers mounted flush into the wall in the appropriate places. The ultimate stealth install.

Do it right, with the power off it looks like something you'd lock someone in for a few days if you wanted to get information out of them

pca

> Plain white room

Stop there. Being a confirmed minimalist, that sounds about right to me. Maybe I'd add a chair if I'm feeling like adding a bit of clutter to the room to give it that 'lived-in' look.