The homogenization of commercial intercourse

Posted by: jimhogan

The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 11/11/2007 21:46

OK, so you hear:

"What can I get started for you?"

"How was your weekend?"

"How's your morning going?"

Where are you?
Posted by: g_attrill

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 12/11/2007 00:14

Here's one that embarasses me when I forget the way it's supposed to go:

Them: Hi it's X here
Me: Oh, hello
Them: How are you?
Me: I'm great thanks
Them: Yes, I'm fine, is Y there?
Posted by: spider

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 12/11/2007 03:23

g.a.p.
Posted by: andy

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 12/11/2007 06:51

I can tell from "What can I get started for you?" that I must be in America.
Posted by: canuckInOR

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 12/11/2007 16:28

Quote:
OK, so you hear:

"What can I get started for you?"

"How was your weekend?"

"How's your morning going?"

Where are you?


I'm oddly disappointed -- from the headline, I thought this thread would be about how bland the sex is at Vegas brothels. Or maybe that's the answer to "Where are you?"
Posted by: jimhogan

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 13/11/2007 23:44

Quote:
I'm oddly disappointed -- from the headline, I thought this thread would be about how bland the sex is at Vegas brothels. Or maybe that's the answer to "Where are you?"

Well, I could be in Vegas...at a Starbucks.

I thought I would let this "Where am I?" question percolate for a bit to see if anybody chimed in with "Starbucks, of course!" I wondered if it might be obvious.

I don't love Starbucks but for some reasons not necessarily related to coffee I have found myself patronizing a couple over the past 6 months. But I'm getting creeped out. The Stepford baristas.

More rant soon.
Posted by: tfabris

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 14/11/2007 01:47

LOL @ "Stepford Baristas"
Posted by: Neutrino

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 14/11/2007 02:39

I tend to prefer Batdorf and Bronson's, Dancing Goats. I happen to be in Chicago tonight and what's the first thing I saw when I got off the plane? Starbuck's. Not to hijack the thread but a few first impressions, the cab drivers are CRAZY, you can actually get Guiness on tap in more than just one pub, Chicago has a beautiful skyline, 312 is a pretty good beer. I live in Oly, hence, the one Guiness town.
Posted by: canuckInOR

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 14/11/2007 17:53

Quote:
Quote:
I'm oddly disappointed -- from the headline, I thought this thread would be about how bland the sex is at Vegas brothels. Or maybe that's the answer to "Where are you?"

Well, I could be in Vegas...at a Starbucks.

I thought I would let this "Where am I?" question percolate for a bit

Ha!

Quote:
to see if anybody chimed in with "Starbucks, of course!" I wondered if it might be obvious.

Ah, see, I don't go to Starbucks on a frequent basis. When I do, it's just "Hi, can I get a regular hot chocolate, please," dispensing pretty much entirely with any idle chitchat such as "how was your weekend?"

The last time I went to Starbucks was a few months ago, and only because I was in Seattle and thought it would be funny to go to "the local coffee joint".
Posted by: lectric

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 14/11/2007 23:35

Ick... I can't stand Starbucks' coffee. They severely overburn the beans. Then again, I like chickory, so go figure.
Posted by: jmwking

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 15/11/2007 00:28

Quote:
Ick... I can't stand Starbucks' coffee. They severely overburn the beans. Then again, I like chickory, so go figure.


Mmm... Community Coffee.

-jk
Posted by: frog51

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 15/11/2007 10:56

We have a Starbucks next to the office, but I always walk an extra block to Caffe Nero, for the dramatic quality difference
Posted by: andy

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 15/11/2007 11:05

I'm also a big fan of Cafe Nero. However if I am somewhere, want a coffee and have a choice of the big chains, then I'll pick Starbucks if there is no Cafe Nero.

The reason is consistency. Starbucks clearly train their staff better than the other big chains. If I get a coffee in a Starbucks then I can be reasonably sure it has been vaguely competently made. In the other big chains half the time you end up with a cup full of milk with a distinct lack of any coffee taste.

So Starbucks might not have the best taste, but at least I know what I am going to get and that it is likely to be drinkable.

Edit: I have an exception to this rule, if I was in Seattle then I'd choose Seattle's Best Coffee instead, unless I was at Pike Place in which case I'd be at _the_ Starbucks, just because you can...

(actually in reality if I was in Seattle I'd probably be drinking a Tully's Espresso Shake in preference to a coffee)
Posted by: Robotic

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 17/11/2007 14:01

I'll have to try Tully's in Seattle next time I'm there. I tried it under very poor circumstances ("coffee" at the new San Francisco Baseball park) recently and was seriously disappointed. McDonald's does a better job.

As for 'big chains'... I usually get a Starbucks about once a month. Others around here (SF Bay Area) like Peet's Coffee, but if I can find a local joint then that's where I prefer to leave my cash.
Posted by: andy

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 17/11/2007 14:16

I should say I have never actually tried a coffee at Tully's, I've only ever had the Espresso Shake (espresso ice cream, a shot of espresso and coffee beans) there. Luckily most of the times I've been to Seattle it has been over 30C, hence ideal for Espresso Shakes, I realise this isn't 100% representative of its year-round climate
Posted by: jimhogan

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 20/11/2007 02:13

Quote:
Ah, see, I don't go to Starbucks on a frequent basis. When I do, it's just "Hi, can I get a regular hot chocolate, please," dispensing pretty much entirely with any idle chitchat such as "how was your weekend?"

This is what gets me Stepford-wise. You may be in a Starbucks and have barely opened your mouth when the robots start asking you how your weekend was or how your morning is going. Completely inhuman, I think.

Quote:
The last time I went to Starbucks was a few months ago, and only because I was in Seattle and thought it would be funny to go to "the local coffee joint".

For a while I completely avoided Starbucks because I had a number of superior local alternatives (small single-instance coffee shops). In my current employ, I don't have anyplace nearly as handy where I can get decent coffee and park for a while in the morning and read. I actually like Starbucks coffee just fine and it is, as others have said, dependable.

Well, I have sworn off Starbucks until 2008 thanks to their premature holiday decor....but I stopped at a smaller local outfit last week (Cafe Ladro) and before I could even make eye contact the baristdroid -- a girl I have never met before and who doesn't know me from Adam -- starts asking me "So how's your morning going?". It was obvious that Starbucks had placed some pods in their shop overnight, so I quickly told her "Shitty! Completely Shitty! It's the worst fucking morning I have had in years!!"

It worked. I could see the slight cast form over her retina, so I made my move. I slammed my $2.00 on the counter, grabbed my grande half-caf drip, and made a run for it.
Posted by: music

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 20/11/2007 15:16

I have two slightly conflicting comments.

First, there is (or used to be) regional variation in this sort of interaction.
In small towns in the South or Southwest, the normal social expectation was that you have a little bit of friendly chit-chat with a shop-keeper or clerk prior to checkout even if you've never met and will never see each other again.
While trying such banter in the Northeast might earn you a glare or a suspicious stare thinking you are going to try to sell them something or recruit them to your cult.

That said, I have a complaint similar to yours about Taco Bell drive-throughs recently. (Yeah, I know. I really really shouldn't.) Now when you drive up, they ask "how are you doing?" not "what would you like?" What the heck? They can't even see me!
Even stranger than that, when you say, "I'm doing fine" there's a big pause before they think to say "what would you like to order?"

My social skills are at a loss here. What's the expected behavior?

Do people just ignore the "how's it going?" and immediately start ordering?

What's the point in delaying a long drive-through line of cars to make sure a stranger you can't even see is having an adequate day?
You know why I'm here. You know that I'm ready to order and quickly get away. That's why I'm at a fast food restaurant and still in my car.
If I had more time, wouldn't I be choosing a healthier option?
Posted by: wfaulk

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 20/11/2007 15:31

In such situations, I generally either just go straight into my order, which, I'm sure, is what the person is expecting anyway, since he's just been told by his management that he's required to say that, or maybe just say "fine, thanks" and immediately start giving my order.

I stopped feeling guilty about this when one day I realized that at some drive-thrus the initial voice is just a recording so that the person taking the order doesn't actually have to perform that initial interaction with you.

On a related note, and this has mostly gone away, it really irritated me when they would ask if I wanted a particular item as part of the greeting: "Good morning would you like to try a value meal?" That just requires me to say no and then go on to what I wanted to order. Of course, I suppose it might help those people that get to the register after a several minute wait in line and then start deciding what it is they want.
Posted by: music

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 20/11/2007 20:04

Quote:
I suppose it might help those people that get to the register after a several minute wait in line and then start deciding what it is they want.


That brings up 2 more whines.

Some places have a duplicate menu board farther back in the line so you can look at it and decide what you want. That's good. Other places have large menu boards tilted so that you can see them a few cars back. Also good.

But it's annoying when they have only one board, it isn't visible until you are directly in front of it, and you're trying to figure out what to get with the four bucks and thirty-seven cents you have in your wallet.

Which brings me to Whine B.
It's damn near impossible to order "a la carte" off of modern menu boards which consist mostly of giant pictures of the combos and a bit of text which lists a tiny subset of their foods and beverages in a fairly scrambled order. And of course you have to spend time looking at the pictures to interpret what they are. Since I can actually read, I find this quite annoying. And since I never eat fries, NO combo is EVER acceptable. So I find myself poking around the disorganized menu board trying to assemble a semi-edible somewhat affordable meal based on how much change is in my coin tray.

Anyway, Bitt, sometimes I'm one of "those" guys.
Sorry about that. I'm just doing the best I can.

And by the way, when they say "Hi, would you like to buy an X today" I just immediately think "What in the world would have made you think I would ever want an X? Did I ask for an X? Do I look like an X sort of guy? Did you just drop an X on the floor that you're going to have to pay for if you don't unload it immediately?"
Posted by: wfaulk

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 20/11/2007 20:08

Yeah, I was thinking more of in-store lines. And I totally agree about the combo-only menus. Really irritating. I won't drink HFCS any more, so combos are out for me, too.
Posted by: jimhogan

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 21/11/2007 02:19

Quote:
I have two slightly conflicting comments.

First, there is (or used to be) regional variation in this sort of interaction.
In small towns in the South or Southwest, the normal social expectation was that you have a little bit of friendly chit-chat with a shop-keeper or clerk prior to checkout even if you've never met and will never see each other again.

I'd be amazed if I ever went into a boulangerie in France and you didn't have a little "Bonjour Madama...Bonjour Monsieur" type of exchange. It's a nice little social custom and norm. A little formal acknowledgment.

And I have no problem walking into a coffee shop and engaging in the equivalent "Good morning"-type ritual.

What I object to at the Stepford Coffee Company and so many other places is that these little friendly exchanges are stage managed. I have no doubt that they have a little 3-ring binder with tips on how to greet customers with heartwarming phrases like "How was your weekend?"

Worse, the androids are not programmed to do things like make eye contact before inflicting their pre-programmed catch phrases on customers.

It's not just huge coffee companies. It runs through most of the franchise food and service businesses that offer shitty service.

Deja Vu. I've ranted this rant before.

But now the disease is spreading. Even that little coffee shop is studying the Starbucks customer engagement manual.
Posted by: music

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 21/11/2007 04:10

Quote:
What I object to at the Stepford Coffee Company and so many other places is that these little friendly exchanges are stage managed.


Agreed. Faux cheeriness is far worse than brusque efficient indifference.

I don't mind a little training to teach the manners-impaired that "Whaddya want" isn't the best way to greet a customer, but mandating a precise interaction script is creepy.
Posted by: Roger

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 21/11/2007 09:01

Quote:
I'd be amazed if I ever went into a boulangerie in France and you didn't have a little "Bonjour Madama...Bonjour Monsieur" type of exchange. It's a nice little social custom and norm. A little formal acknowledgment.


I learnt something interesting from the wife when we were in Provence a month or so back.

In the UK (and, I assume, in the US), a shop is a public place. It's treated as an extension of the street. In this way, you can wander in, wander around and wander back out, without any conversation with the staff.

In France (and maybe other places in Europe), a shop is treated kinda like the proprieter's living room. It's their shop; it's an extension of their domain. You're meant to be polite when you visit, even if it's just a simple "bonjour" and "au revoir".

If you don't, then you're being impolite.

I don't know how universally true this is, but it certainly rang true in Provence.
Posted by: Robotic

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 21/11/2007 14:01

Quote:
I won't drink HFCS any more, so combos are out for me, too.

I was pleasantly surprised a few weeks ago on a drive-thru visit to KFC. I got a combo something-or-other but for the drink I asked if they had any sort of fruit punch (I don't drink soft drinks much anymore).
They served me a bottle of Gatorade!
Wait- what?? Gatorade?? At KFC??

I was happy.
Posted by: wfaulk

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 21/11/2007 14:18

Gatorade is also full of HFCS, though sometimes it is labeled as "glucose-fructose syrup".
Posted by: tfabris

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 21/11/2007 15:14

Quote:
What I object to at the Stepford Coffee Company and so many other places is that these little friendly exchanges are stage managed.

Yeah, this is the verbal equivalent of "Flair" and I hate it, too.

On the other hand, if the employees could be genuinely cheery and chatty without coaching, the company wouldn't need to implement verbal Flair rules.

Then again, if the companies could make their places of business an environment which fostered cheery, chatty employees, maybe they would get cheery, chatty employees...

Naw, the three-ring binder is cheaper, easier, and faster.
Posted by: music

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 21/11/2007 16:28

I don't really like talking about my flair.
Posted by: tfabris

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 21/11/2007 16:48

What about Cher? She's got flair to spare.
Posted by: canuckInOR

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 21/11/2007 17:39

Quote:
Gatorade is also full of HFCS, though sometimes it is labeled as "glucose-fructose syrup".

Any suggestions on a sports drink that doesn't contain HFCS?
Posted by: cushman

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 21/11/2007 20:25

Quote:
What about Cher? She's got flair to spare.

Don't you dare go there.
Posted by: Robotic

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 21/11/2007 21:18

Quote:
Quote:
What about Cher? She's got flair to spare.

Don't you dare go there.

What does she wear? (I don't care!)
Posted by: Robotic

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 21/11/2007 21:21

Quote:
Gatorade is also full of HFCS, though sometimes it is labeled as "glucose-fructose syrup".

Ah- hard to escape that stuff.
For me it was a no-brainer, though. My stomach won't let me drink fizzy pop anymore.
Posted by: wfaulk

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 22/11/2007 00:39

Quote:
Any suggestions on a sports drink that doesn't contain HFCS?

I don't really drink sports drinks, so I'm not an expert by any means. I'd suggest reading the ingredients on some down at your local Whole Foods or Earth Fare or whatever you might have where you live.

Actually, Gatorade Powder shouldn't have HFCS, since it's dry and HFCS is a syrup. It's probably far cheaper, too, since they don't have to ship all of that water. Not to mention better for the environment to avoid all those plastic bottles.
Posted by: pca

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 22/11/2007 00:59

Water?

pca
Posted by: pca

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 22/11/2007 01:00

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
What about Cher? She's got flair to spare.

Don't you dare go there.

What does she wear? (I don't care!)


She has got long hair!
Posted by: tfabris

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 22/11/2007 17:01

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
What about Cher? She's got flair to spare.

Don't you dare go there.

What does she wear? (I don't care!)


She went to the Oscars in her underwear.
Posted by: jimhogan

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 22/11/2007 17:30

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
What about Cher? She's got flair to spare.

Don't you dare go there.

What does she wear? (I don't care!)


She went to the Oscars in her underwear.

But only after a long session with Nair.
Posted by: music

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 22/11/2007 18:26

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
What about Cher? She's got flair to spare.

Don't you dare go there.

What does she wear? (I don't care!)

She went to the Oscars in her underwear.


To be fair: it was on a dare!
Posted by: tanstaafl.

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 24/11/2007 07:02

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
What about Cher? She's got flair to spare.

Don't you dare go there.

What does she wear? (I don't care!)

She went to the Oscars in her underwear.


To be fair: it was on a dare!


Stop it now. I mean it!


tanstaafl.
Posted by: tfabris

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 24/11/2007 17:09

*looks around*

Sorry, all out of peanuts.
Posted by: larry818

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 24/11/2007 21:26

Man, flashbacks to alt.cascade....
Posted by: Robotic

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 25/11/2007 01:30

Quote:
Quote:
Gatorade is also full of HFCS, though sometimes it is labeled as "glucose-fructose syrup".

Any suggestions on a sports drink that doesn't contain HFCS?

I'll have to ask my roomie what he drinks during his bike rides.
I know that he's discovered the best sports recovery drink to be chocolate milk- I'm not kidding.
Posted by: canuckInOR

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 26/11/2007 17:06

Quote:
Quote:
Any suggestions on a sports drink that doesn't contain HFCS?

I don't really drink sports drinks, so I'm not an expert by any means. I'd suggest reading the ingredients on some down at your local Whole Foods or Earth Fare or whatever you might have where you live.

Actually, Gatorade Powder shouldn't have HFCS, since it's dry and HFCS is a syrup. It's probably far cheaper, too, since they don't have to ship all of that water. Not to mention better for the environment to avoid all those plastic bottles.

Looking around, the powder form seems like the best option. Sadly, it's not as convenient as just grabbing a bottle from the fridge, but oh, well.
Posted by: canuckInOR

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 26/11/2007 17:29

Quote:
Water?

Well, for regular hydration, that's about all I do drink. During physical competition, however, I feel like I perform better when using a sports drink, rather than just pure water -- based purely on personal non-scientific anecdotal evidence, of course. Over the course of a hockey game, I'll generally drink two quarts of gatorade/water mixed equally.
Posted by: Phoenix42

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 26/11/2007 17:34

I happen to have some powdered Gatorade in my cube. The ingredients lists; sucrose, dextrose, citric acid, salt, sodium citrate, natural lemon and lime flavor with other natural flavors, monopotassium phosphate, calcium silicate (a flow agent), yellow 6.

edit:
This is for the lemon & lime flavoured version purchased in the US. Don't know about the other flavours or other parts of the globe.
Posted by: wfaulk

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 26/11/2007 17:58

Quote:
it's not as convenient as just grabbing a bottle from the fridge

Mix a bunch up beforehand and put it in bottles in the fridge.
Posted by: canuckInOR

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 27/11/2007 16:08

Quote:
Quote:
it's not as convenient as just grabbing a bottle from the fridge

Mix a bunch up beforehand and put it in bottles in the fridge.

Well, yes, but I still have to mix it myself. I'm terrible at remembering to do things like that ahead of time.
Posted by: tanstaafl.

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 28/11/2007 19:04

Quote:
Well, yes, but I still have to mix it myself. I'm terrible at remembering to do things like that ahead of time.


Do like I do and mix it up and keep it in the freezer, frozen. I keep it that way in my Camelback, and it thaws at just about the same rate that I drink it, so I have it nice and cold for the full duration of my ride.

tanstaafl.
Posted by: canuckInOR

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 29/11/2007 21:16

Quote:
Quote:
Well, yes, but I still have to mix it myself. I'm terrible at remembering to do things like that ahead of time.


Do like I do and mix it up and keep it in the freezer, frozen. I keep it that way in my Camelback, and it thaws at just about the same rate that I drink it, so I have it nice and cold for the full duration of my ride.

I've done similar when kayaking -- starting out with a frozen bottle -- but I don't think that'd be a good plan for hockey. Judging by the rate it melts when kayaking, I have serious doubts that it would be thawing at rate I need during a hockey game (two quarts/hour).

I still have about a box and a half of the bottled stuff to go through (which I drink at a rate of one a week), but I'll switch to the powder after that.
Posted by: Robotic

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 30/11/2007 01:18

Photoshop Challenge: improve the Starbucks logo
(FARK.com)

Some funny ideas in there...
Posted by: andy

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 30/11/2007 07:33

My favourite

Posted by: RobotCaleb

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 22/12/2007 19:59

I recently discovered that Subway puts HFCS in their bread.
Posted by: canuckInOR

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 26/12/2007 23:03

 Originally Posted By: l0ser
I recently discovered that Subway puts HFCS in their bread.

Confirmed, though not all of their bread contains it. I've pretty much ditched Subway, in favour of Quizno's, anyway. Their subs are much better...

I have a sneaky suspicion that most grocery store bread in the US also contains HFCS. I'll have to check the label when I get home.
Posted by: drakino

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 27/12/2007 06:39

 Originally Posted By: canuckInOR
I've pretty much ditched Subway, in favour of Quizno's, anyway. Their subs are much better...


I did the same a long time back, being that my first job ages ago was at Quizno's store #5. However, moving to Austin has provided me with some great alternatives to both. On the toasted side, we have Which Wich? with a pretty unique ordering system, and then on the cold and cheep side we have Thundercloud Subs. Both are smaller chains started in the area and are quite popular. While Jersey Mike's isn't a local place, they are good too, and yet another place I have on a list of sub places to go before resorting to Subway.
Posted by: music

Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse - 27/12/2007 08:01

In Austin, I always thought Thundercloud had tasty subs.
Also, I seem to recall that Delaware Sub Shop (another local chain) made a pretty darn good East Coast style sub.
I guess "Which Which?" wasn't around when I was there.