is that port there just to taunt me?

Yup.

Secondly, is there any way to get one of these things mounted in the car with like, full support?

Click over to the For Sale forum. Pulsing blue lights gallore.

Anybody know anything more than I do here?

Yes. They appear in blue and often speak in tongues.

Welcome to the board. I feel your pain on the lack of remote issue, it's one of the main reasons I don't already own a karma.

Matthew