Clearly, I wrote a crappy post. I'll try again.

The unit is equally unresponsive both in the car and on the bench. It does not boot up, and I only get the heart beat LED on the front panel. The blue LED on the back is on solidly, as is the red one inside. The screen is blank.

The output captured from the serial port is the entire boot process. Can the machine be in car mode or house mode if it hasn't even fully booted? It seems like it is in NO mode.