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#178961 - 11/09/2003 22:41 Near-Onion
jimhogan
carpal tunnel

Registered: 06/10/1999
Posts: 2591
Loc: Seattle, WA, U.S.A.
My friend sent me this. So far as we can see, it isn't from the Onion, but it seems like it should be (great Onion headline this week, BTW)



ABSENCE OF WMD's IN PRESIDENT'S SPEECH RUINS DRINKING GAME

'Where are the Weapons?' Deflated Drinkers Ask

Bar patrons in Missouri who had planned to do a shooter of tequila every time President Bush used the phrase "weapons of mass destruction" in his speech to the nation tonight were left disappointed as the President barely mentioned the deadly weapons at all.

The game was the brainchild of Jake Hoving, 31, bartender at the Horny Skunk Saloon in Springfield, who invented the game earlier this year when he and his friends were watching Mr. Bush's State of the Union Address and noticed that the phrase "weapons of mass destruction" appeared in virtually every other sentence.

"I was like, dude, let's do a shooter next time he says it," Mr. Hoving remembers.
Mr. Hoving said that by the end of the State of the Union speech, he and his friends had drained the bars "entire supply" of tequila.

"I have never been so polluted," Mr. Hoving said. "It was bodacious."

Knowing that Mr. Bush was scheduled to make a nationally televised address about Iraq tonight, Mr. Hoving gathered his friends at the bar once more to play the WMD drinking game.

But the game "never really got started this time," Mr. Hoving said.

"We had our shooters all racked up, but he only said 'weapons of mass destruction' like once in the entire speech," Mr. Hoving said. "We were all like 'Dude, where are the weapons?'"
As disappointing as tonight's game was, Mr. Hoving remains undaunted, planning to reassemble his pals at the bar for the President's next major speech on economic policy.

"We're going to do a shooter every time he says 'tax cut,'" Mr. Hoving said.
_________________________
Jim


'Tis the exceptional fellow who lies awake at night thinking of his successes.

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#178962 - 12/09/2003 02:13 Re: Near-Onion [Re: jimhogan]
simspos
enthusiast

Registered: 28/03/2002
Posts: 230
Loc: Dudley, UK
If I had to invent a drinking game for last night it would have to be based on the phrase "sexed-up".

Last night, every news channel reporting on the UK government enquiry into "why exactly did we go to war with Iraq?" used the phrase "SEXED-UP" to describe how the information on WMD was conveyed to government & public alike in order "swing" opinion, thus ensuring our entry into the war.

I could have understood it on Channel 5 (perveyor of soft porn & generally pointless television), but it was used by every news reporter on every friggin' channel,.... AARRRGGHHH.

Rant over!,.......... Now where's that Tequila?

Sim

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#178963 - 12/09/2003 07:31 Re: Near-Onion [Re: simspos]
Anonymous
Unregistered


Maybe they showed a nuclear warhead with its top off.

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