1) what are the possibilities that the problem is the motherboard versus a conflict between the two sticks of RAM?

Two memory sticks of the same type (and certainly two of exactly the same type) shoudn't "conflict" in any way. If the motherboard can drive either one alone, but not both, the motherboard is at fault (assuming that the stick types, chip count etc., are within the motherboard's spec)

2) is it possible that the second memory slot is causing the problem? can that kinda thing be isolated to one slot? For instance, if the third slot has no problems, can I just put the two sticks in the first and third slots instead and run like that?

In theory, that sort of thing might happen. It's certainly worth trying the sticks in slots 1&3. It depends on your particular board whether it lets you get away with it (the manual for mine says "You just insert the RAM without the help of God. Isn't it wonderful?")

3) about the RAM its self. the chips on it say Samsung. I ordered Corsair memory. Is this correct?

Could well be. Corsair, judging from their web site, are a module maker not a chipmaker.

Your mystery component looks like a capacitor (is it a small vertical cylinder?)

Peter