Well, they aren't all bad:

permanent clock. One of the main things a microwave has become is a chronograph. Why not keep the clock on all the time?

Mine has this - and I like it. It does die if power cuts last too long, though.

Separate time remaining/countdown display. This should be the same or smaller type of display as the clock with high visibility VFD numerals.

Yup, got this too. It rocks:-)

An LCD for menu control functions

Don't understand what you mean.

a Jog wheel for easy adjustment and selection of features

Give me a keypad over a jog wheel anyday.

a funtion to add time to the current cooking time

I thought this had been standard from the days of clockwork timers.

a function to adjust the power/temperature without stopping and resetting the cooking process.

Could be useful. Mine does it, but you have to pause and then unpause.

a current temperature display

The high end ones give you a thermometer which gives you a core reading, on the front panel. They're cool!

a touch screen would be great too

Not after a couple of years when bits of food become embedded

comm or ethernet port for remote interrogation / notification when my coffee/danish has re-heated while i'm working in my study.

A loud beep or ping often suffices.

hijackable kernel or at least upgradeable OS
a robotic maid to bring the coffee to me

Erm....okay...not sure about these.