I happen to believe that there are simply people that score better on these "kinds" of tests. I mean, I could pass a nursing final exam right now if it were multiple choice. Give me an essay test, and I'm screwed. I've never scored in less than the top percentile on ANY standardized (scantron) test that I've ever taken. I beat people consistently on those types of tests that I KNOW are way smarter than me.

I can see your point, up to a point. Most multiple-choice tests are poorly written and obvious. Someone with strong verbal skills can pick up the clues implied by the wording of the questions and answers and do much better than random selections would permit.
However... nobody has magical powers over scantron sheets. An expertly-written, 6 choice per question test can quickly weed out the guessers. There used to be (probably still is) a computerized multiple-choice AutoCAD test I would administer to job applicants when I managed a CAD department. I never scored 100% on it myself, and nobody applying ever got better than 80%. A good professional CAD guy would score about 50-60%. People who exaggerated on their resumes and were hoping to pick up training on the job scored 10-20%... same as random selections.