At risk of sounding contentious, in central Scotland I have very few issues with RDS - it works beautifully.

for me RDS-AF works when tuned manually to a frequency OR when on a frequency after you switch to tuner mode, or power-on the unit, or select a preset.
RDS-AF IS easily disabled, by deselecting AF. I know this works as I only use it in the morning and then disable it for the rest of the day.
I agree with this one - RDS-AF disregards the current frequency when checking the AF list - but it doesn't affect me
The button mapping works a treat for FM seek.

Wonder what is different with your config. Mine is fairly stock, plus Hijack 334 and emphatic