On his Common Criticisms page, my two favourites:

Criticism :I have lots of male friends who would never think of me that way blah blah blah.
Answer :Your friend doesn't find you attractive, or he's currently doing better, or he's gay or you're wrong.

Criticism :That's not true
Answer :Yes it is.

Genius
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Rory
MkIIa, blue lit buttons, memory upgrade, 1Tb in Subaru Forester STi
MkII, 240Gb in Mark Lord dock
MkII, 80Gb SSD in dock