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3.0M [snip] Doesn't look too insane... does it?

It looks about right for 17,000 tracks -- in other words, really big.

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Paul reports having no such problems on his empeg with over 100gb of music... but i think that's on a MkIIa... maybe that extra 4 megs makes that much difference?

Yes. A 2.0final Mark 2 has about 5MB cache; a 2a about 9MB. Your player will thus only have about 2MB left once the database is loaded, which won't be enough to spin down.

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maybe i'll have a go at adding RAM after all.

For that size music collection, that's probably your best option, unfortunately.

Peter