Quote:
I know where this is headed - I'm going to have to do a PHP build from source and start tracing inside that. This is payback for using nice easy binary distributions :-(

Being hopelessly lazy, this is where I start introducing things like spelling errors to see if I can get it to puke something up -- like what happens if you change the ADODB constant spelling?)

I have a million other questions, but they are pointless and won't help you

(Edit: Oh, and obligatory /. solution: Switch to PostgreSQL)