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Is this what you mean ??? The SitePlayer seems to do everything I want, not too far out of reach money wise either

Well, not precisely (this is primarily a telnet server, as far as I can see), but I think it could be pressed into duty; for example, it should be possible to sense the state of its (quite appropriately) Ring Indicator line or something along those lines. Other boxes I found are much worse overkills
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Dragi "Bonzi" Raos Q#5196 MkII #080000376, 18GB green MkIIa #040103247, 60GB blue