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However, the best solution is to kill the kids with a large axe to the head. Most State courts accept paint splatters to car paintwork insanity as a legitimate defence these days, but check with your attorney first to be sure before launching your decapitation foray.

Agreed. I really have to tell the story.

I live in a neighborhood directly next to the high school I went to. Every year for the homecoming football game there's a "color week" leading up to the game, and on one day each class wears its color. Most do it with clothing, funny hats, face paint, etc. Well apparently two geniuses thought it would be a good idea to drive to the very back of my neighborhood, where I live, stop in the middle of the street, and douse themselves with paint. Seriously. We're talking paint you get at the local hardware store in cans. They opened them up and dumped them on themselves. Then a woman came out of the house they were parked in front of and they got in their car and drove away.

I take solace in two things:

1) they were probably blue for a long time.

2) my high school is known for being a bit...well...afluent. I really hope these kids were driving daddy's BMW, which presumably needed new - everything I guess.

I would have called the school to complain if I had known this would happen to the car. I'm sure it would have been easy to pick the kids out in a classroom for the next couple weeks [and I would have had to specify - it's the blue kids, not the green kids who did the same exact thing in another part of my neighborhood]