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Since my girlfriend doesn't read these forums and I doubt any of her friends will catch my posts in Google, can we expand this thread to engagement rings?

That's okay with me! And congrats.

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I'll be purchasing the rock elsewhere and having the (or "a") shop set it.

You should call ahead, and find out if they'll change a setting fee. I think I got stuck with a $65 charge for doing it this way.

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Whatever it ends up being made of - I hate the idea of a diamond, but I suppose I will end up with one anyway.

I'm not too happy with the idea of diamonds, either. I ended up buying a certified Canadian diamond, since it's the closest thing to a guarantee you can get that a) it's conflict free, b) not part of the DeBeer's cartel, and c) stands a glimmer of a chance that the mine is being operated in a semi-ecological manner. (Plus, a Canadian diamond seemed apropos, given the circumstances.)

Take her to see Blood Diamond, and see how much she still wants a diamond, after that. It's a fictionalized account, but it's based very heavily on reality.

I ended up buying my diamond online. They also do custom designed rings, if you can't get the setting you want at your local store.

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The place I'm already planning to check makes all their own stuff by hand. They used to make a really cool ring that looked like it held the stone by horizontal clamping force only - and it didn't protrude from the top very much at all.

A tension setting... they're still pretty common in all the jewelry stores I was in, so I doubt you'll have any trouble finding one. There are examples present on most of the websites linked above.

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I hate rings where the stone sticks out like a weapon.

Ditto, and they can be a pain for other reasons, too -- like wearing rubber gloves for gardening, washing dishes (SWMBO's example, not mine!), or getting your hand through a rubber gasket on a dry-top.

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My soon-to-be fiance gets no voice in deciding what the ring will be like. That would just be against everything I stand for. I suggest any guys who go shopping for this stuff with their future wives should instead go looking for a pair of balls. Or if style isn't your bag (no pun intended) then consult someone else. Judging by the excellent ring recommendations in this thread already I don't think anyone here has these issues.

Heh. We went window shopping, to find out the range of styles that she liked. I'd rather be accused of needing to find a pair of balls, than spend $$$ on something that she truthfully hates. Once I knew what sort of styles she liked (and thankfully, they lined up with mine), I did everything else without her input, and she had no knowledge of when the ring showed up, or when the proposal would be.

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Does the diamond industry still advocate spending 2 months salary on an engagement ring?

Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. FWIW, though, I don't know anyone that's done that. In fact, I think I actually ended up spending less than a single paycheck. But you can get some pretty ugly looking stones for some hugely inflated prices, if you go down to your local mall. I recall seeing one 2 carat stone/ring pricetagged at $18k, and you could see the inclusions in the diamond with the ring sitting in the display case. :-p

The also still push the idea that buying a diamond is an investment, and that the value of a diamond will go up. Total BS, of course -- diamonds are so plentiful that, unless it's some rare colour or size, there's no "used" market for them at all. The money you put into a diamond is gone for eternity.

If you want to keep the cost down, look for an underweight stone. Once you hit the magic weights (1/2 carat, 3/4 carat, 9/10 carat, and 1 carat), prices can nearly double, yet the stone size doesn't change appreciably. The difference between a .5 carat round diamond, and a .45 carat round can't really be detected -- it's less than a millimeter change in diameter.

The best website I found online for understanding diamonds was undoubtedly PriceScope. When looking at the diamonds from the online site, I compared the prices against comparable diamonds listed on PriceScope. If they were too far out of whack, I knew I was getting ripped off -- I rejected a couple of stones that way. I also rejected a couple of stones based on the emailed certs, and plugging the numbers into the Holloway Cut Advisor.

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I know she'd rather have money spent on other things like travel anyway.

Smart girl.

Hope that helps.

Cheers,