Still haven't played. So far, EA support has:

1. Sent me a blanket list of things to try, like making sure I did have a machine up to spec, kill all background processes except Finder, and LoginWindow (loads of fun to do on OS X), run system update, and so on.

2. Sent me another response to check parental controls, the hosts file, and send back a system profile and traceroute, even though the system profile was attached when I created the issue.

3. Sent me a response today basically saying "This is a tough one, give us a bit".

No response to my question of "Will EA refund my money if this doesn't get fixed, as my return window is rapidly shrinking?"

*continues to wait*