To cut a long story short: Cold day - black ice, it just looked like the mud it usually is.
I had to drag myself some distance, then somebody saw me: where I was it was just lucky somebody came past, but my wife would realise something was wrong but probably not for an hour, however it was bloody cold.
I contemplated letting the dog free, but suffering from lifelong diminished responsibility, he would probably have headed for the nearest field of sheep - he comes considerably lower in the gene pool than Lassie.
I can't wait to try my ball and socket out on an airport scanner!