It obviously doesn't address all your issues with the Mac mini, but it
can take 16GB of RAM, even if Apple don't advertise (or presumably support) such an option.
http://www.crucial.com/store/listparts.aspx?model=Mac%20mini%20(Intel%20Core%20i7%202.7Ghz)%20DDR3%20-%20Mid%202011&Cat=RAM
I dabbled with a Hackintosh briefly on supposedly well supported Dell hardware (Latitude D series), before deciding the continued effort was all too much hassle and bought a MacBook.
I'd forgotten there wasn't a quad core mini 
(just found the quad core "server" version)