Update on trying to leave Verizon early:

My contract ends December 15. There's no way they're going to waive the ETF. It's just not going to happen. Instead, it looks like the solution is:

- Port my wife's phone number to T-Mobile (her old phone is no longer subject to ETF)

- Call Verizon and reactivate that old phone with a new number

- Have Verizon swap the phone numbers (my phone number, which I want to port to T-Mobile is now on my wife's old phone; the phone number I don't care about is now on my Android phone)

- Now I can port my number over to T-Mobile

After all this mess, I'm left with a family plan with only a single line on it, and a requirement to stick around to December 15. I can then ask Verizon to put me on a cheaper plan that still preserves the unlimited data. Finally, I can sell my old plan via the "assumption of liability" mechanism, which appears to have a street value these days of $200 or more.

Of course, for the hour I just spent on the phone with Verizon to figure this out, it's not really clear I'm coming out ahead in this deal...