Indeed, I believe that the thing that I got was a 2-channel voltage divider. It just doesn't seem to bleed off quite enough of the voltage. So I was thinking of trying to change the value of the resistors in the circuit to quiet it down more. I'll experiment with that maybe tomorrow. The formula for the voltage is pretty straightforward. Plugging the numbers into a calculator, I see that the thing I got, is rigged to make the output voltage about 1/10th of the input voltage. Since that's not enough, I can fiddle with the ratio and try other values.

And yeah, I missed my chance to buzz you guys about it on the Friday call. I was busy replacing the kitchen sink faucet that I broke on Thursday. Took me all fscking day because the original faucet's nut was corroded in place and wouldn't come off, in the hard-to-reach spot underneath the counter behind the basins. After enough hours of frustration and twisting and bruising my body, ended up just using a dremel to cut the mofo off of there.