OK, I talked to the events people at both the Beach Chalet in SF and The Tied House in Mountain View. The Beach Chalet would be a little tighter on time of day (lunch time only) because we (as a group) would be occupying their restaurant table space, whereas the Tied House's back room would be available at any time of day: lunch, dinner, evening. I've listed the pros/cons for each. Here is some preliminary info. I picked a date and assumed Saturday May 25th for the meet.

Beach Chalet (BC)
The BC is located right on Ocean Beach in San Francisco, which cool because we could continue apres activities after lunch on the beach during the afternoon, sunset, and bon fire in the evening and into the night (provided the weather cooperates). The building itself is a SF historical landmark. There is an in-house brewery and the food is pretty good. Possible live music.

Since it is Memorial Day weekend, the BC is restricted to about 45 people (rather than 75 as usual) for lunch. They would be willing extend the hours if we chose menu#3. Total includes free brewery tours + tax + gratuity /head. All beverages are extra.
Menu#1: 11-1:30pm (soup/salad/entree) $22.40/head
Menu#2: 11-1:30pm (soup/salad/entree/dessert) $27.50/head
Menu#3: 10-2pm (app platters/soup/salad/entree/dessert) $34/head
The BC would entertain the idea of a band, but has to be fairly low key like an ambient jazz band they typically have on Tues nights. This is tentative and needs to get approved. Estimate would be about $500.
Pros: Great location, beach, especially on a sunny day w/ a pretty decent chance in May. Tons of parking along the beach, but need to arrive way before noon to occupy as a group before the weekend crowds.
Cons: As a group we're limited to lunch time, but bar is always open for random refills. Chance of fog, but may burn off by the afternoon. Limited to a group of 45 people for the group meal. Fairly pricy.

The Tied House (TH)
The Tied House is located near downtown Mountain View midway between SJ and SF. Like the BC it has comparable decent food with an in-house brewery. I calculated the costs based on the banquet information they have on their web site. I assumed the following: average entree ($16) +soup/salad+tax+gratuity+unlimited sodas= $20/head. The TH suggests approx 5 app platters (ave $40 ea) per 25 guests, so that's about $8/head extra, assuming total of 50 people.
Menu: (app platter/soda/soup/salad/entree) $28/head
Bottomless beer pint option: $5.50/head (lunch), $10/head (dinner).
Pros: We have the "beer garden" room available to a large group and flexible times for either lunch or dinner. Easy to get to on Caltrain, midway between SJ & SF.
Cons: Limited apres activities, far from the city.

For the bold and adventurous I'm also mentioning Chrissy Field as a third option, which is part of the Golden Gate National Parks Association . The possibilities run the gamut from large scale BBQ facilities near Fort Point to the more formal dining facilities at the Presidio Golden Gate Club . We've done the BBQ thing for our kids' birthday parties a couple of times, and they have had a blast. There's great scenery, plenty of parking, nice beach, space for kite flying, frisbee, bicycling, and whatever ball. The only glitch is someone has to volunteer to do the BBQ and bring the beer, and the possibility of fog (as Tony mentioned). I doubt there will be any rain in May. Maybe we can get Armadillo Willy's to cater the BBQ. Looks like about $15-$25/head. I dunno, what do you guys think?

--Andrew