I know a bunch of you guys drive Hondas, but this is hella-funny. I see those ricer asses with only 2 upgraded wheels all the time.
http://www.acsu.buffalo.edu/~attse/honduh.htm

LOL....that's spot on.

How about this one? The sound effects had me laughing for a while.

Whilst I see cars with tiny engines and huge bodykits all the time. The best bit is when you get dull looking cars with decent engines.
A friend of mine used to have a Mk. I Ford Fiesta with a 2 Litre Zetec/CVH hybrid engine and a T3 bolted on (Garret that is). The car looked completely stock (save for the old XR2 pepperpot alloys) and we always used to love driving round town and pulling up next to some twat in a BMW who thought their car was the new hotness. Boy they were wrong!
I know it's childish but when you see the looks on their faces when the car they paid £25,000 for (or financed), couldn't keep up with an 18 year old Fiesta it somehow makes it worthwhile. There was usually a screaming girlfriend in the passenger seat for good measure as well. Of course, nowadays with all the speed cameras he doesn't bother anymore, he's got a Ford Focus company car now.

That reminds me of The Insanity Test. Don't laugh!!!

Am I the only person who has never laughed at that thing? Or is that the point, that it's so not funny, they really think you'd be insane to laugh at it? (no offense )

I don't know, but it took me about ten seconds before I started laughing maniacally. But, then, I'm a sucker for silly.

Yes, I drive a Honda, too. But I have no illusions about its capabilities. And I have no intentions of sinking a ridiculous amount of money into performance parts.

I thought the voice representation of the Civic's engine in ricin's link was *very* accurate.

I understand that I drive a Civic, not a race car. Hell, mine's an automatic, cuz I'm lazy.

Hey, hey. I saw that. My alias has nothing to do with ricers, it's the toxin made from Ricinus Communis (Castor bean), and I've been using it for about 10 years.

And I have no intentions of sinking a ridiculous amount of money into performance parts.

I think you're missing the point. I also have no intention of sinking ridiculous amounts of money into performance parts, but I'm about a million times more likely to do that than to sink any amount of money into pseudo-performance parts (like spoilers on a stock Civic), misused performance parts (like a big exhaust on a stock Civic), or flash (like stickers and body kits). People seem to make these modifications to their cars solely to make the car appear as if it's souped-up without actually doing anything to actually make the car ``faster''. In other words, pretty much the definition of poseur.

In reply to:

---

I've been using it for about 10 years.

---

The nickname or the toxin?

Yeah, but...

The definition of a poseur is someone who wants to be part of a "scene" but doesn't have the goods to deliver. (Sound of "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" playing in the background.)

The thing about the riceboy scene is that jacking your car up and putting spoilers and ground effects on it, and then slapping a Type-R sticker on it... Those *are* the things that make you part of that scene. So these guys aren't poseurs, they're actually practicioners.

In reply to:

---

I don't know, but it took me about ten seconds before I started laughing maniacally. But, then, I'm a sucker for silly.

---

http://www.homestarrunner.com

Just check out the StrongBad E-mails.

It would have to be EXTREMELY low doses for me to last 10 years.

LOL. awesome.

Homestar runner is the best.

Hours of entertainment.

poseur: a person who pretends to be what he or she is not : an affected or insincere person

Unless those people are intending to be folks who own cars that have stickers on them and no real performance upgrades, then they're poseurs. It seems to me that they want to appear to have a ``fast'' car.

But if they do intend to be sticker-car people, then that's just sad.

This is getting way off topic, but for more flash cartoon goodness theres also oddtodd.com.
A trilogy (so far) of the life of the cartoonist after he's been laid off.
Worth a gander (not a duck).
http://www.oddtodd.com/cartoons.html
Z~

My alias has nothing to do with ricers...

I wasn't implying that it did. I was simply referring to your post.

I think you're missing the point...

I'm not missing the point. I include the modifications that make a car look faster along with those that actually make it faster, in the category of "performance parts." I have no intention of modifying the way the car looks, either. And if I had a car that I did want to modify, I would probably leave it looking as stock as possible, anyway.

I have a Honda Civic because Hondas are good solid cars. This is actually my 3rd. I could care less about people who modify them because they are the easiest and cheapest to do so with.

Edit: I much prefer the car's stock look, anyway.

Okay, I see I have a slightly different sense of humor. I was urged by many of my friends to check out Homestar Runner, and I thought it was the stupidest thing I'd ever seen. I understand that this may be the point of the site, but personally, it was horribly un-funny on any level.

Yeah, I saw it that way too, but I wasn't sure with the at the end. I was going to mention that, if you were just simply referring to my post, to ignore the reply. So, since that is the case, ignore my reply.

You're just humorless, apparently.

I thought it was hysterical, but as I said, I'm a sucker for silly.

huh...
Thats the first negative response to Homestar that I've ever been a witness too.
Maybe its more niche humor than I previously thought.
Kinda like Benny Hill.

Z~

People seem to make these modifications to their cars solely to make the car appear as if it's souped-up without actually doing anything to actually make the car ``faster''

You are correct in the literal sense here, but you have to try and see things from their viewpoint.

I consider myself to be on exactly the opposite end of the spectrum from the "ricers" -- but I do not criticize them in the least.

Their "thing" is to have what they consider to be a cool looking car -- with wings, spoilers, flare kits, big wheels, etc. They want the car to be an attention getter. It does not have to be fast.

My "thing" is to have a car that looks completely ordinary -- but is full of hidden surprises. It does have to be fast.

Is my outlook "better" than the ricers? Not a bit. Different strokes, and all that. That ricer put just as much time, money, and labor-of-love work into his car as I did to mine. We just seek different goals, that's all.

tanstaafl.

Thats the first negative response to Homestar that I've ever been a witness too

Well, my girlfriend also thought it was stupid, so I guess that just means we're compatible!

I usually enjoy a wide range of humor, but that particular site doesn't strike me a funny in the least, but that's just me.

If I believed that they believed that body kits and whatnot made their cars look cool and they were totally uninterested in making their cars work better, I'd agree with you. But I believe that what they really want is to have a ``faster'' car but they believe that the shortcut to that is to make it look faster. Which to me is just stupid. If they'd save the money that they spent on that chromed oilcan exhaust tip, the made-from-leftover-barrels airfoil spoiler, and the body kit to make their Honda look like a teeny Ford GT-40, they might actually be able to afford a real performance upgrade.

I'd also be less derisive if the body kits, etc. that they tend to use weren't the most godawful ugly, poorly made looking things ever conceived. The ones I've seen that looked nice were really just the finishing touch on an otherwise nicely modified car. Most, though, look like the person has a wreck, replaced body panels with ones that were malformed rejects from a different model car, and then had another wreck.

Me, I'm not interested in making my car look different. I'm also not interested in making it ``faster''. I'm somewhat more interested in making it more fun to drive, but, honestly, I don't even have the time to put into that. But rest assured that any modifications I do make will have a purpose. And the first one will always be to install my empeg.

Just so's you all know, it's not just the japanese imports that get riced. I was walking into work one day last week, and saw a riced up Kompressor. I nearly had a heat attack at the thought that someone would actually do such a thing to a Benz.

Oh, I guess you've never visited fark.com then...When the Monday listing for the new SB E-mail shows up, it's about 40-60 split of whiners saying StrongBad sucks, and the other half going "STFU and leave if you don't like it, if you hate it so much, why did you even click the link loser?"

I fall in the 10% that just sits back and laughs at all the people on the board.

Modified is modified. It's not a "ricer" or "rice burner" unless it IS a Japanese economy car. A category that any Mercedes Benz vehicle could never fit into.

Ok, at first, I thought it was the stupidest waste of a decent flash-programmer on the web, then I actually read what he had posted, watched a few of strongbad's emails, and laughed my ass off.

If I believed that they believed that body kits and whatnot made their cars look cool and they were totally uninterested in making their cars work better...

I could not agree more. What irritates me even more is how stupid some of these people/kids are. I've seen stickers for German performance parts (neuspeed, etc) on Hondas. Then the primered body panels... I won't even go there.

Check out this site. And yes, this unfortunate phenomenon is not limited to Hondas.

I'll go on a tangent that it must say something for the Type R - that everybody wants to be like a Type R. I see so many Type R badges plastered on everything from Sentras to Corollas to Civics.

A "riced" Benz - that disgusts me, and it is an insult to the brand and everything it stands for.

I am respectful of tasteful performance upgrades - but a line must be drawn somewhere. But a huge wing that looks like it belongs on the back of a small plane - this serves no purpose (especially for the speeds it is driven at) but to look stupid.

I currently own and have owned a civic and integra respectively. I wish I had some pictures to show you but you wouldnt think of my car as fast. I didnt spend my money on outside mods ok thats a lie my civic hatch is black so Ive bought clear corners and tinted them black so they match the body I also have a carbon fiber hood but I mainly bought it for weigh reduction. Im all go/no show thats what its about all show is for insecure people.

So how fast does the Taurus station wagon go? That would have to be the ultimate sleeper car.

That would have to be the ultimate sleeper car.

Yeah, that was the point.

I've seen stickers for German performance parts (neuspeed, etc) on Hondas.

Now that I'm a Saab person, I picked up a few of these stickers. I haven't gotten up the nerve to put them on my car yet.



Although I've only owned a Saab for 5 months, I already feel like a part of the community. They are a great bunch of people. Most of their cars are Saab 900 and 9000 which look completely stock (and old), but can keep up with/outperform my Viggen. See some pics I took at the last two Saab runs. There is another show this weekend in Boston I will be attending.

A "riced" Benz - that disgusts me, and it is an insult to the brand and everything it stands for.

It's not really a prestigious brand any more, especially in Europe where every other car is a Merc. Making one look a bit different isn't so bad.

Of course if anyone did that to a Jag they would have to face severe consequences

Rob

But a huge wing that looks like it belongs on the back of a small plane - this serves no purpose (especially for the speeds it is driven at) but to look stupid.


...especially when you examine the tires underneath it, and discover that they're 135R14/65. There's one near me like that. I make an effort to laugh and point whenever I see it.

Somehow, they're not so prestigious as they used to be in the US, either, but the prices (MSRPs) are still quite high -- much higher than BMW, for example. Go figure.

I saw a huge wing today mounted on the tailgate of a pickup truck, cracked me up, I think it was a Ford.

I used to own a rice burner, a 87 Honda Accord, had the hood that sloped down and I liked the looks of it, until someone totaled it but I never did any mods to it.

Ive been meaning to ask.....how does one distinguish a Viggen from a non-Viggen?? Most cars are easy to identify the sports version the old MR2s are a bitch the turbo emblem is body colored so the only way at a distance is to look for raised levuors(sp?) on the rear deck.

It's not really a prestigious brand any more, especially in Europe where every other car is a Merc

Prestigious or not - it still seems wrong. In the states - they aren't quite as common so I guess thats why I had that viewpoint.

It is not that easy to distinguish a 9-3 from a 9-3 Viggen unless you look for these clues:

• Viggen emblems on either side of the car above the side marker lights.
• Front spoiler/ground effects
• Larger rear spoiler than regular 9-3
• 5 spoke 17" wheels
• Regular 9-3s have a motorized antenna in the back on the driver's side. The Viggen spoiler gets in the way of that area, so Viggens have one of those small ones mounted on the roof (VW style?).
• "Rectangular" exhaust tip

I have a Viggen "euro plate" on the front of my car, so everyone knows (assuming they know what a Viggen is). Other than those things, it is easily mistaken for a regular 9-3.

Now that I'm a Saab person, I picked up a few of these stickers

Now that is amusing...

I saw a huge wing today mounted on the tailgate of a pickup truck

Not too long ago, I saw a wing mounted on the tail end of the cab of a pickup truck. I almost had to pull off the road, I was giggling so hard.

It occurred to me later that it might have been an air deflector for whatever might have been in the bed that wasn't at the time. Still hysterical.

I used to own a rice burner, a 87 Honda Accord

I used to own a rice burner too. It was a 1998 Suzuki Sidekick Sport JLX. OK, maybe not a rice burner in the typical sense, but I did get harassed by my friends about putting rice in the gas tank. I LOVED that truck. It was excellent. I had to get rid of it because I needed something bigger. I wish I had kept it. This picture was taken after I had pushed one of my friend's cars 2 miles when it broke down. This is the only photo I have of it.

http://www.spmicro.com/mp3sidekick/sidekick.jpg

The "ricer" phenomenon ins't unique in being a fad, there's baggy pants, mullet haircuts, giant shoelaces, beanie babies, formerly the word "groovy", etc. Things become popular, and people emulate their peers, especially when young. You can pick out a hundred fads that have come and gone over the last decade or more, easily defend the ones that you were involved in, and ignorantly bash the rest. We think these kids do ridiculous things, but they believe the same about us.

I don't do these things I've mentioned above, but I'm SURE I'm guilty of others. Actions as a kid that my parents thought were idiotic, and I know they did the same themselves. Some people would call me dumb for having to have the fastest computer I can assemble together every six months, or putting thousands of bucks into my car stereo. I can justify it, just like these kids can justify their car's body kits or something else they are doing.

It's incredible how fast this thread filled in, anyone thinking less these kids for simply being kids is old, and a snob. Which I acknowledge is often me included

So how fast does the Taurus station wagon go? That would have to be the ultimate sleeper car.

It is pretty quick. But the fun part is -- it is nowhere near as quick as I let people believe. I don't ever race anybody -- I just show them the engine and let them draw their own conclusions, and they assume that it must be really fast. And when those secondary intake runners kick in under full throttle, it sounds really fast.

If I had to guess, I would estimate 0-60 mph in about seven seconds, top speed probably in the vicinity of 140 mph. I know that if I punch it on a freeway on-ramp, I can have have 95--100 mph by the time I need to merge into traffic and not even be in high gear yet. It is a very nice highway cruiser, getting 27 miles per gallon at a steady 75 MPH, and at that speed the engine is turning less than 2700 of it's maximum 7000 RPM.

Throw in the 1000-watt competition quality totally stealth stereo system... and yeah, it is the ultimate sleeper. I have wanted one of these cars for 10 years, and couldn't believe my luck when I found this one on the internet. There might be 10 of these in the whole world.

tanstaafl.

Those secondary intake runners are probably killing your top end. But with a big engine like that i guess you want all your power in the midrange. THe Integra GS-R engine has dual stage intake runners whereas the Type-R only has single runners. Most people who are doing any type of major tuning will ditch the dual stage IM for a single stage version by Skunk2.

Oh my god!
Hulk Hogan is a ricer!
http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=1010757&uid=633523

Got the link from Saab Turbo mailing list

Nice.

Not all 'wings' are actually spoilers. They make them for vans and pickups that aren't used to spoil the lift generated by the shape of the vehicle, but to actually direct airflow into the wake behind the vehicle. That decreases the gas used by reducing the 'pressure drag' (God, I can't even remember the real name... thats disturbing).

By having a airfoil on the back of the cab of a pickup, the air is also directed up and over the bed. That also reduces drag (and increases gas mileage), much like either a cover over the bed or those ugly-ass net tailgates.

Its cool when people talk about stuff I actually know

Edit: I actually took the time to dig out one of my aero books and look it up - form drag. Lame, huh (me, not the name )?

Yeah, I guess I realized that and it makes enough sense.

It still looks ridiculous, though.

I totally agree about the looking ridiculous part

What kills me is that a lot of beneficial aerodynamic effects can be created without the use of God-awful ugly body work, but that would lose the 'look, I'm cool!' effect. I won't even go into a rant about the weight

Yeah. In reality, most of the quality stuff is fairly understated.

Those secondary intake runners are probably killing your top end.

Probably not... they're staged. As the RPMs climb, the primary runners are gradually phased out at the same time the secondary runners engage. This gives a pretty flat torque curve from about 2000 -- 6000 rpm. Oh... maybe that's what you mean when you say mid-range?

But with a big engine like that i guess you want all your power in the midrange.

Appearances can be deceiving. That engine is only 3.2 liters -- about the same size as your Acura was, I think. The transmission is a four-speed AXOD automatic with overdrive and lockup torque converter, so it's almost like having a six speed, and first gear is low enough that even on dry pavement I have to excercise some caution to keep the wheels from breaking loose. (Not that big a deal in a FWD car, I know)

tanstaafl.

The way the dual stage runners work in the GSR is at 5800 the shorter ones are opened but so are the longer ones which does increase airflow but does add some resistance. My engine is 1.8 liters I dont need no stinkin V6 to make power. 1.8 turbo all the way, i do miss my type-R motor though......stupid teenage years.

Plus the huge wings on top of the Cabs of Trucks are for towing loarge 5th wheel or gooseneck trailers. That greatly reduce drag. You can see all lot of these where Im from. Anyone that has a duelly and a tall trailer. But yes like most aerodynamic things added to trucks, they are extremely goofy looking or just downright ugly

Anyone that has a duelly and a tall trailer.

[soapbox] Please... it's "dually" (or alternatively "duallie" or even "dualie"). The etymology refers to a truck with dual wheels on the rear axle, thus the term "dually".

Unless he is using the truck to fight duels, that is... What would it be -- hood ornaments at 40 paces or something? [/soapbox]

Not that it really matters, of course.

tanstaafl.

Just a gratuitous post to show off my personal "Rice Eaters"

Oh yeah... one Rice Burner too!

Nice Porsche, now I can officially hate you....haha