Okay here we go totally off topic. Digan that we pic you got as a pic on your profile any chance of a big version as it might rock as an image pan.



Okay you can go back to comedy now


I always liked the goodies they were great in their own strange way.

Here's what looks like the one I used. I edited and resized mine, so it might have been different. The one I used was also this size, so I'm not sure how good it will be.

Anyway, here it is:


I'm assuming most of the people here know what it is

I'm assuming most of the people here know what it is

Uh, the MP3 player that flew too close to the sun and its hard drives overheated and crashed?

Jim

Precisely!

It just dawned on me that this might be the perfect opportunity to put a bunch of other heads together on this nagging question....

About 23+ years ago (OK, That rules a bunch of you out...) there was this audio sketch by these guys (and who they were is what I can't remember) who were playing two cow pokes out on the range. One of them was named "Zeke" and it went something like this:

In reply to:

---

Cowboy 1: "Zeke, DON'T move!"

Zeke: "Why?"

Cowboy 1: "You're sitting smack dab on a diamond back rattler!"

Zeke: "Plumb on em?"

Cowboy 1: "Smack dab, plumb on him."

Zeke: "Oh, heh. Sure enough...don't worry though it's just old Floyd" (rattle sound) "Ya know, when he goes, I'm gonna make me a wallet out of him..."

---

...and on from there. As I recall it the whole thing was pretty funny, but I just can't remember who it was that did that--or what it was called for that matter.

So if any of you know from whence that came, I would be much obliged pardner!

Found this in my mail box. Enjoy.
http://www.baseball-almanac.com/humor4.shtml
http://www.baseball-almanac.com/onfirst.ram

One of the most famous baseball comedy acts to occur was the following exchange between Abbott and Costello. The words alone cannot do it justice but it is still quite funny. It was originally done on the radio live but the duo later included it in 'The Naughty Nineties.' The background is Abbott is the Manager of a baseball team and Costello wants to play catcher. Before he can play, the manager wants to make sure he knows everyone's name on the team.
by Abbott and Costello

Abbott: Alright, now whaddya want?
Costello: Now look, I'm the head of the sports department. I gotta know the baseball players' names. Do you know the guys' names?
Abbott: Oh sure.
Costello: So you go ahead and tell me some of their names.
Abbott: Well, I'll introduce you to the boys. You know sometimes nowadays they give ballplayers peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names.
Abbott: Nicknames, pet names, like Dizzy Dean -
Costello: His brother Daffy -
Abbott: Daffy Dean -
Costello: And their cousin!
Abbott: Who's that?
Costello: Goofy!
Abbott: Goofy, huh? Now let's see. We have on the bags - we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: That's what I wanna find out.
Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third -
Costello: You know the fellows' names?
Abbott: Certainly!
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: I mean the fellow's name!
Abbott: Who!
Costello: The guy on first!
Abbott: Who!
Costello: The first baseman!
Abbott: Who!
Costello: The guy playing first!
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: Now whaddya askin' me for?
Abbott: I'm telling you Who is on first.
Costello: Well, I'm asking YOU who's on first!
Abbott: That's the man's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who!
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: Have you got a contract with the first baseman?
Abbott: Absolutely.
Costello: Who signs the contract?
Abbott: Well, naturally!
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar. Why not? The man's entitled to it.
Costello: Who is?
Abbott: Yes. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Who's wife?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: All I'm tryin' to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
Abbott: Oh, no - wait a minute, don't switch 'em around. What is on second base.
Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second.
Abbott: Who is on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third - now we're not talkin' 'bout him.
Costello: Now, how did I get on third base?
Abbott: You mentioned his name!
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Abbott: No - Who's playing first.
Costello: Never mind first - I wanna know what's the guy's name on third.
Abbott: No - What's on second.
Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third.
Costello: Aaah! Would you please stay on third base and don't go off it?
Abbott: What was it you wanted?
Costello: Now who's playin' third base?
Abbott: Now why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello: Why? Who am I putting over there?
Abbott: Yes. But we don't want him there.
Costello: What's the guy's name on third base?
Abbott: What belongs on second.
Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello: THIRD BASE!
Costello: You got an outfield?
Abbott: Oh yes!
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask you.
Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.
Costello: Alright, then tell me who's playin' left field.
Abbott: Who is playing fir-
Costello: STAY OUTTA THE INFIELD! I wanna know what's the left fielder's name.
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello: THIRD BASE!
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: Because!
Abbott: Oh, he's center field.
Costello: Look, you gotta pitcher on this team?
Abbott: Now wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher.
Costello: The pitcher's name.
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: You don't wanna tell me today?
Abbott: I'm tellin' you now.
Costello: Then go ahead.
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: What time?
Abbott: What time what?
Costello: What time tomorrow are you going to tell me who's pitching?
Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching. Who is on fir-
Costello: I'll break your arm if you say Who's on first. I wanna know what's the pitcher's name.
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello: THIRD BASE!
Costello: You got a catcher?
Abbott: Oh, absolutely.
Costello: The catcher's name.
Abbott: Today.
Costello: Today. And Tomorrow's pitching.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: All we've got is a couple of days on the team.
Abbott: Well, I can't help that.
Costello: Well, I'm a catcher too.
Abbott: I know that.
Costello: Now suppose that I'm catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and their heavy hitter gets up.
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Tomorrow throws the ball. The batter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me being a good catcher, I wanna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Costello: I don't even know what I'm talkin' about!
Abbott: Well, that's all you have to do.
Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Now who's got it?
Abbott: Naturally!
Costello: If I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta catch it. Now who caught it?
Abbott: Naturally!
Costello: Who caught it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Naturally!
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott: NO, NO, NO! You throw the ball to first base and Who gets it?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's right. There we go.
Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott: You don't!
Costello: I throw it to who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!
Abbott: You're not saying it that way.
Costello: I said I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You don't - you throw the ball to Who?
Costello: Naturally!
Abbott: Well, say that!
Costello: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING! I throw the ball to who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Ask me.
Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: SAME AS YOU!! I throw the ball to first base and who gets it?
Abbott: Naturally!
Costello: Who has it?
Abbott: Naturally!
Costello: HE BETTER HAVE IT! I throw the ball to first base. Whoever it is grabs the ball, so the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What, What throws it to I Don't Know, I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow - triple play.
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Another guy gets up - it's a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know. He's on third and I don't give a darn!
Abbott: What was that?
Costello: I said I don't give a darn!
Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.

My favourite Eddie Izzard bit is "Le Singe et dans l'arbre", hillarous. I don't have it recorded anywhere unfortnately.

Hehe, just watched "Eddie Izzard: Dressed to Kill" on HBO Comedy, which included that sketch...basically a 10 minute encore in French.

The whole set was fantastic, and had me in stitches. I had forgotten just what a talent he has for pulling the audience into his sketches.

HBO Comedy are showing it a few more times over the next month or so - you can easily find it in their schedule.

HBO Comedy are showing it a few more times over the next month or so

I'm in the UK, but at least I know which DVD to buy now...

Le Singe et dans l'arbre

I have a rather poor quality video of it from a Toronto comedy festival which was broadcast many years ago, early in his career, but you're welcome to a copy.

For my money though, the Marx Brothers broken mirror routine from "Duck Soup", often copied, never bettered.

I have a rather poor quality video of it from a Toronto comedy festival which was broadcast many years ago, early in his career, but you're welcome to a copy.

Ah yes, that is the performance I saw it on.

The black knight and the entire movie "Search for the Holy Grail" is great.

But, have you guys seen the bit on Conan O'Brien when Trimph the insult comic dog went to the line people were in to get Star Wars tickets? You can get it on Kazaa Lite, search for Triumph and Star Wars. Each time I see that I laugh for the entire 10 minutes. It is comedy gold. The only problem is I would be one of the people he would be making fun of...

For British Comedy, though, this thread lacks one key name that deserves to be mentioned.

Spike Milligan.

I've got almost every Goon Show available, and these still rank as some of the cleverest, most bizarre and ingenious bits of comedy ever. Things like how to climb a tower by parachute (put off the parachute, count to ten backward then push the string), the new Hot Dog missile (a preheated salami fitted with a warhead), driving a wall at speed, tying a man's hands and then cutting the knot off so he can't untie it, and even piloting the first Albert Memorial to the Moon. Descriptions like "little thrice-adolescent hybrid", "his skin was burnt a fiery red by the hot Algerian Brandy", "he was the nearest thing I'd seen to a human being without actually being one" and "champion barbed-wire hurdler until his tragic accident" (ooooh!). They knew how much to ad-lib, how to keep the audience laughing and could deliver comedy and drama at such an amazing pace it's sometimes hard to keep up even for experienced Goonologists.

My favourite, my ultimate laugh from the Goon Show is in "Foiled by President Fred" - a show about a British gas meter inspector who goes to South America to bill them for the gas they've used. The show revolves around President Fred fleeing the country with all his money. He's had Eccles pack it in a blue sack - or is it a red sack? But Eccles is colourblind, and quite thick. Everyone's looking the sacks, everyone settles things amicably (by shooting the other person), and finally Eccles and Bluebottle end up with both sacks, having by slow wits and mumbling achieved what everyone else with quick thought and action has failed to get. Then Bluebottle establishes that the red sack contains the forged banknotes then suggests that they split it 50/50 - Eccles takes the nice red sack, and Blubottle gets the rotten stinking old blue one:

Eccles: Fine, fine.
Bluebottle: Eheee! And you're quite sure the blue sack contains the real money, Eccles?
Eccles: Oh, yer!
Bluebottle: Well, goodbye, Eccles!
(FX) Door opens and shuts.
Eccles: (slowly) Goodbye, redbottle...

And the audience is swept away in a tidal wave of laughter as they realise that Eccles wasn't colourblind at all, nor as daft as he appeared.... Whatever the reason, it's pure genius.

So forget all that modern swearing stuff, and get down to some real idiocy!

Paul

At the risk of starting a Goon Show thread, I agree with that whole post except that my favourite one is Napoleon's Piano, and my favourite moment in that is when the usual suspects, including Seagoon and Eccles, have been dispatched to the Louvre to steal Napoleon's piano -- then they find it's too big to get it out of the door.

Seagoon: I know! Let's saw the legs off!
F/X: <saw><saw>thud <saw><saw>thud <saw><saw>thud <saw><saw>thud
Seagoon: That's funny -- first piano I've seen with four legs.
Eccles: Hey, I keep falling over...

Part of Milligan's genius was coming up with stuff that you can only do on radio...

Peter

Mind you, the last of the Goons is having a bit of a bad week or two, that Prince of Wales.

You've reminded me of sitting by the fire with an old wood bodied radio, the size of a server cabinet, and my father red in the face with tears in his eyes, laughing: Was it the light programme or the home service? I must dig out my one LP: A take off of Quatermass and the pit, I can't remember the B side.
Again, without wishing to start a Goons thread, would there be a Monty Python without them, and so much humour that followed.

The only problem is I would be one of the people he would be making fun of...

You think that's bad. I've got friends... close friends... who with any luck will be featured in Trekkies 2...

You might even see me somewhere in the film (in the background)...

Le Singe et dans l'arbre

I finally released "Dress to Kill" from a long term stay on the floor of my daughter's bedroom! If you're thinking that the encore is going to be anything like the Montreal sketch. You'll be disappointed, it's an excruciatingly funny piece about our relations with the French, but the monkey bit is only a small part of it.

Can't wait to see him live again - Eddie is up in Glasgow on his "Sexie" tour in December and my tickets are through.

Yay!

I'm just going to hurt so much afterwards - my jaws and stomache usually ache when I watch any of his videos.