last night I had a strange dream.
I had just bought a used car that had been altered to run on cooking lard. ok, that part is not so far-fetched if you consider that my neighbor runs his jetta tdi on bio fuel (recycled cooking oil).

there was a box about the size of a shoe box in the trunk that you could open and pop a new lard block in as needed.

well I was out tooting around in my new car and sure enough it ran out of fuel. I knew very well that a gas station would be of little help so I found a hardware store (!), but they were fresh out of cooking lard. when I told the guy behind the desk why I wanted it he mentioned that they had some cheese and asked if that would do.

sure I thought, that should work.

well I got a huge brick of cheese and placed it into the the little box in the truck, but the car refused to operate properly.

so I call the help desk of the company that makes and sells the kit and tell them about my situation.

they told me that the car will actually run on cheese, but that cheese cost so much more than plain lard that it just doesn't make any sense.

do I need to prime the system? are there any other trouble shooting hints?

they walked me though a few steps to try to find the problem and then the customer service guy says "wait a sec... what kind of cheese did you use"?

"parmesan"

at that he busts out laughing at me.

"you tried to run a car on parmesan"!?!?!