Well, I've decided that after 4.5 years of dating, it's finally time to ask the big question. The problem being - I needed a ring.

BUT, after reading this thread as well as the September issue of The Ecologist, I decided not to get a diamond. At least - not a mined diamond. So, I found a Gemesis dealer in Scottsdale off the Gemesis website and the ring should be ready in a couple of weeks. Here's a picture of what it's approximately going to look like.



So, hopefully she says yes. But I figure that if she doesn't, then I could probably ebay the ring for a grip - since most people don't know about gemesis diamonds, yet.

- trs

Congratulations! Good luck!

Awesome. Will she know that a yellow diamond is apparently more valuable than a white one? Or will she just think it's some non-diamond gem stone? Does she read the empeg bbs?

Good luck!

I know it's gauche to ask, so feel free not to answer, but how much did it cost? Are they marking up the prices so as to be comparable to a DeBeers diamond, or are they cheap? (I'm guessing somewhere in between.)

The Schubach link shows prices. It seems high to me, but I don't really know how much "real" diamonds of those characteristcs cost.

Will she know that a yellow diamond is apparently more valuable than a white one?

She does know about yellow diamonds. She also knows about Gemesis stones because we both read the articles. So, I think (hope) she'll like it!

Does she read the empeg bbs

No, she doesn't read the bbs - unless I show her something i think she'd find interesting - like that diamond thread.

I know it's gauche to ask, so feel free not to answer, but how much did it cost?

It's no problem. The Gemesis stones are about $1k - 2k less than a white diamond of equivalent size and clarity. A natural yellow diamond of that size and clarity would probably cost upwards of $15-20k. So, I think it's a great deal. Plus, I (and Michelle, my gf) can take comfort in the fact that we are not supporting DeBeers in their apartheidal and genocidal ways.

The prices from the jeweler I dealt with were slightly more than the prices on the "official online retailer" for Gemesis. But, Joe Schubach was very VERY helpful and communicative and he offered a 30 day satisfaction guarantee - so that made the extra cost more worth while for me. All in all the ring cost about $4500.

BTW - thanks everybody for the show of support!

- trs

That's a fantastic deal - well done for taking the plunge and being the first person I know to have bought one!

I'm sure it'll be a great talking point and hopefully your friends will follow suit (assuming she lets on it cost 1/3rd the price of a real one!)

Gareth

OK, just to clarify I like the idea of a 'non-traditional' ring. However, your lady may not, no matter what she tells you. In my experience, the engagement ring is not really for her, and it is definately not for you. The ring is for her to show off to her friends and family to say, 'Look how wonderful he is and how much he loves me!!' I understand that this sounds shallow, and you are probably saying to yourself that your woman is 'not that type of girl, she's better than that!'. Guess what hotshot, she 'aint.

This is what may go through her mind when you give her the rock:

"Oh what a beautiful ring, I hate DeBeers and he and I share that same passion! I love a non-traditional ring because I am a non-traditional girl, this ring is perfect for me and my man is perfect too! I love him.........Oh shit.....I have to show my mom this ring, and I have to show my best friend this ring, and I have to show all the girls at the PTA this ring!!....What the Hell am I going to say to them?? They don't understand how evil DeBeers is, and they don't understand how cool synthetic yellow diamonds are! How am I going to explain this! My man doesn't really care about me! I am the saddest girl in the world!!"

Well, it might not happen exactly like that, but you get my point. Just because you think that it's cool and important and you like it, doesn't mean that she will. Remember who you are buying the ring for.

Oh c'mon. We're not all like that. Hell, if some guy I loved gave me a pop top ring off a beer can, I would be happy. My engagement ring was a star sapphire that cost maybe $100 at the time, just because I am divorced had nothing to do with the ring. People spend way too much money on rings and weddings when the money could be used for things much more important.

This is what may go through her mind when you give her the rock:

On the other hand, let’s look at the alternate scenario where he gives her a DeBeers white diamond:

"Oh my gosh he is finally proposing....its a....a......A F^@%ING DEBEERS WHITE DIAMOND! THAT F^@%ING HYPOCRYTE! WE TALKED ABOUT NON-TRADITIONAL RINGS! HE SHOWED ME THAT FREAKING ARTICLE ABOUT DEBEERS! THAT A$$HOLE! NOT ONLY DOES HE NOT LISTEN TO ME, HE DOESN'T EVEN FOLLOW THROUGH ON HIS OWN ADVICE! I can't take this....no.....no...I'm not going through with it, no way can I marry this a$$hole. Of all the....."

Sounds to me like he made the right choice.

Good luck man. Hope she says yes and hope she keeps saying yes for the rest of your lives! : )

Ha ha ha - man, you guys (and girls!) are funny!

Loren - Believe me I've thought about exactly what you described. But also - I know this girl better than anyone else on earth and I KNOW she'll like this stone. Afterall - no matter what other people say - it's just as real a diamond as any other! If she doesn't want to tell someone it's a cultured diamond and not a natural diamond, she doesn't have to - and they can go on thinking she's wearing a $30,000 ring. Afterall, only a handfull of machines that DeBeers makes can tell it's not a natural diamond - a human could never tell.

Actually, I aslo had the same thoughts - like "crap, I have to explain to my whole family why I didn't buy a real ring. They're going to think I'm some sort of greenpeace quack. They'll think I'm cheap." But in fact, they all thought it was VERY cool. And I didn't even have to explain the DeBeers thing as detailed as I thought I'd have to. Most of the people I've told, actually, already had some disconcerting feelings towards DeBeers. Plus, the fact that I had to put so much research time into getting this ring and tracked it down over hundreds of miles adds quite a bit of personal meaning behind it that I think she'll find valuable.

I appreciate everyone's comments! They've been very interesting and entertaining, so thanks!

- trs

You should watch the movie 'Beautiful Girls'. There's a great scene about a non-traditional stone. Most likely not applicable to your situation, but very funny nevertheless.

-Zeke

I was really just playing Devil's Advocate.

I'm sure she'll love it.

Congrats!

oy, I know. But it's good exercise for me, too. hhh Thanks! - trs