You're partly correct - they don't work any more. What the Government have done is to put aerials in the pavement that pick up our thoughts. This means that the Aluminium Foil Deflector Beanie actually focusses and concentrates the mind control signals.

I wear magnetic ear-rings (one polarised north, the other south) that disrupts these signals quite effectively. I have also insulated my entire bedroom in case their magnetic beams try to pick up my thoughts in my sleep.

Always watching,

Paul