had been doing that then had a moment of clarity

instead of trying to connect to the desktop i went for clanky (old laptop) and that worked fine. so had a good sniff around the desktop and tryed sharing a folder instead of just the drive i use to keep everything on and it now works a treat.

not too sure why it was not working with a drive being shared instead of a folder but got it working now.

All i need to do now is work out the printer bit.