Lastdan;

First off I need to say that I have lost both my folks in the last 10 years. My Dad to a heart attack and my Mom to cancer. Even after 10 years I think of them often. Almost every day.

Now, as a fellow empegger and a friend, although I don't really know you, I've got to slap ya.

Don't you think you should be thinking of your OldMan and not yourself? After all, he ain't dead yet. Enjoy him! From the sounds of things you have a great relationship with him. Use it! Why waste the time he has left worrying about it? I doubt that is what he would want.

What you are waling about, while deeply disturbing and grievous, is something that we all must go through, if we are lucking. Yes, you heard me right. If we are lucky for it is the natural order of things. For a parent to see their children die is very very wrong. A tragedy.

So lastdan, what are you going to do? Continue to worry about it. Or come to grips with the inevitable the best you can and make the best of it? What do you think he would want you to do? Would you want to abide by his wishes?

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. You asked for our opinions and I have answered, with some difficulty, honestly.

Charles