But if they expect not to get paid, assuming what Heather says is true, they have no reason to take your money. They can decide to not sell you the car because you smell funny. And having to deal with a disreputable payer takes up their time. I can't see any reason that they should take payment they don't want to.

As for not being told why and the kneejerk reaction, that sounds like a bad dealer. Maybe your area is rife with them for some reason. I've had bad experiences, too, and most of them are based in the fact that the dealer seems to want to keep information from the customer. But I've had a lot who were very up-front, even with things that were negatives to the car or the dealership. Don't get me wrong, they still try to spin it. They are salesmen after all, but they're not all flat out liars. Maybe you just keep going to the discount dealers. Or maybe you have no choice in your area.