Man, that's tempting. I spend a lot of time making Excel do hard work for me, but I'm not that good. However, maybe you could get in touch with a "Microsoft MVP" (Most Valuable Professional). These guys and gals are GODS of all Microsoft software, and dwell on Usenet (microsoft.public.*) providing free info to anyone who asks.

Check out mvps.org and navigate to the list of Excel MVPs. Tims from David McRitchie, Jon Peltier, Chip Pearson, Debra Dalgleish, Rob Bovey, and others have saved my tail and countless hours of my time. They certainly could be hired for a few hours of consultation, and there's nobody else in the world I'd rather trust with such an Excel masterpiece.