Remembering of course we are talking about 2.5" drives using a 44 pin connector. The extra 4 pins (41-44) are +5 volts (2 pins), ground (1 pin) and a "type" signal (1 pin). The other 40 pins map 1 to 1 with the 40 pin version.

http://www.hardwarebook.info/ATA_(44)_Internal

Sounds like you should be letting a pro look at it now.
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Christian
#40104192 120Gb (no longer in my E36 M3, won't fit the E46 M3)