Can't do it directly with a computer, as it's an analogue phone line.

Having thought about is some more, it occurs to me I can probably use a modem to do pretty much all of it. Check the on/off hook status once a minute, start the timer, and make irritating beeping noises when it runs out. Either plug it into my mailserver in the cupboard just behind me and do it under linux, or make it standalone with a PIC.

And a friend of mine has a metric crapload (SI unit, of course. One crapload is equal to 2.43 buttloads, a common american measurement. This makes a buttload approximately 411.5 millicraploads, for further reference ) of brand-new 56k modems he can't even give away...

pca