It was a couple years ago but I tested a bunch of HDMI switches and the most reliable one was a Gefen model. Some of the really old models didn't do HDCP properly and would need a restart and others had the issues you experienced.

The Gefen had a RS232 port as a project I was doing for somebody was to link the HDMI switch and TV together so it would automatically adjust the picture to suit the input selected.

In the end I actually inserted the uC inside the Gefen box so I could leech off the Gefen PSU and RS232 level converter. The end user just needed a regular serial cable that went from directly from the TV to the HDMI switch. Their Pronto remote would send the Gefen IR command to switch which then sent their proprietory RS232 status message which my uC would receive and send the relevant TV commands. You could change the commands and configuration via the serial port with a computer.