I've had the same issue a few times, and there is a solution. Use the WSUS offline tool to download as many updates for the machine in question as possible, which will take a little while but does actually work. Once those have been installed, the windows update will work correctly.

This solution has worked for me on several machines over the last few months, and for several friends, so it seems solid. The tool is pretty good.

Of course, you'll probably want to install GWX control panel or Never10 before you apply the updates in any case or all the telemetry and windows 10 malware will get right back in there, rummaging around in your bits and making you feel dirty...

pca