Hmm, dang... Well I'll play with it some more, maybe it's a driver thing on the USB controller's part... If it's helpful to the developers or anyone else having this problem, my USB controllers are listed in XP as:

Inter(r) 82801BA/BAM USB Universal Host Controller - 2442
Inter(r) 82801BA/BAM USB Universal Host Controller - 2444

...I didn't realize this machine had two USB controllers, so I might try the ports in the back of the machine and see if I get any different results as well.

Whoa, you go to work to be productive? Dang, I go to surf the empeg bbs and load up MP3's... Oh, and write code or something when I'm not too busy replying to forum posts =)