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#160471 - 08/05/2003 12:46 Joke.
genixia
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 08/02/2002
Posts: 3411
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The river, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me
one?"

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he
prints out a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the
shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep".

"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?"

"OK, why not," answered the young man.

"Clearly, you are a CONSULTANT", said the shepherd.

"That's correct," says the yuppie. "How did you know?"

"You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know BEANS about my business. Now, GIVE ME BACK MY DOG!"
_________________________
Mk2a 60GB Blue. Serial 030102962 sig.mp3: File Format not Valid.

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#160472 - 08/05/2003 12:49 Re: Joke. [Re: genixia]
tonyc
carpal tunnel

Registered: 27/06/1999
Posts: 7058
Loc: Pittsburgh, PA
Truth be told, the probability of the consultant giving the *correct* answer to said question is rather low.
_________________________
- Tony C
my empeg stuff

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#160473 - 08/05/2003 13:03 Re: Joke. [Re: genixia]
tfabris
carpal tunnel

Registered: 20/12/1999
Posts: 31600
Loc: Seattle, WA
OMG, thank you, that one is getting circulated to all my friends RIGHT NOW.
_________________________
Tony Fabris

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#160474 - 08/05/2003 16:10 Re: Joke. [Re: tfabris]
muzza
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 21/07/1999
Posts: 1765
Loc: Brisbane, Queensland, Australi...
nice one!
_________________________
-- Murray I What part of 'no' don't you understand? Is it the 'N', or the 'Zero'?

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#160475 - 09/05/2003 03:05 Re: Joke. [Re: tonyc]
frog51
pooh-bah

Registered: 09/08/2000
Posts: 2091
Loc: Edinburgh, Scotland
I don't know - all the consultants I work with would give the correct answer and then give reasons why they thought it should be changed and advice on how to change it
_________________________
Rory
MkIIa, blue lit buttons, memory upgrade, 1Tb in Subaru Forester STi
MkII, 240Gb in Mark Lord dock
MkII, 80Gb SSD in dock

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#160476 - 09/05/2003 05:40 Re: Joke. [Re: genixia]
Ezekiel
pooh-bah

Registered: 25/08/2000
Posts: 2413
Loc: NH USA
Aah. An oldie but a goodie. Definitely still funny.

Reminds me of this old gem:
"Those who can, do.
Those who can't, teach.
Those who can't teach, consult."

Apologies to all the teachers out there!

-Zeke
_________________________
WWFSMD?

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