#304010 - 11/11/2007 21:46
The homogenization of commercial intercourse
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 06/10/1999
Posts: 2591
Loc: Seattle, WA, U.S.A.
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OK, so you hear:
"What can I get started for you?"
"How was your weekend?"
"How's your morning going?"
Where are you?
_________________________
Jim
'Tis the exceptional fellow who lies awake at night thinking of his successes.
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#304011 - 12/11/2007 00:14
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: jimhogan]
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old hand
Registered: 14/04/2002
Posts: 1172
Loc: Hants, UK
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Here's one that embarasses me when I forget the way it's supposed to go:
Them: Hi it's X here
Me: Oh, hello
Them: How are you?
Me: I'm great thanks
Them: Yes, I'm fine, is Y there?
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#304012 - 12/11/2007 03:23
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: jimhogan]
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member
Registered: 31/12/2001
Posts: 121
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#304013 - 12/11/2007 06:51
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: jimhogan]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 10/06/1999
Posts: 5916
Loc: Wivenhoe, Essex, UK
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I can tell from "What can I get started for you?" that I must be in America.
_________________________
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#304014 - 12/11/2007 16:28
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: jimhogan]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 13/02/2002
Posts: 3212
Loc: Portland, OR
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Quote:
OK, so you hear:
"What can I get started for you?"
"How was your weekend?"
"How's your morning going?"
Where are you?
I'm oddly disappointed -- from the headline, I thought this thread would be about how bland the sex is at Vegas brothels. Or maybe that's the answer to "Where are you?"
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#304015 - 13/11/2007 23:44
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: canuckInOR]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 06/10/1999
Posts: 2591
Loc: Seattle, WA, U.S.A.
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Quote:
I'm oddly disappointed -- from the headline, I thought this thread would be about how bland the sex is at Vegas brothels. Or maybe that's the answer to "Where are you?"
Well, I could be in Vegas...at a Starbucks.
I thought I would let this "Where am I?" question percolate for a bit to see if anybody chimed in with "Starbucks, of course!" I wondered if it might be obvious.
I don't love Starbucks but for some reasons not necessarily related to coffee I have found myself patronizing a couple over the past 6 months. But I'm getting creeped out. The Stepford baristas.
More rant soon.
_________________________
Jim
'Tis the exceptional fellow who lies awake at night thinking of his successes.
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#304017 - 14/11/2007 02:39
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: jimhogan]
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addict
Registered: 23/01/2002
Posts: 506
Loc: The Great Pacific NorthWest
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I tend to prefer Batdorf and Bronson's, Dancing Goats. I happen to be in Chicago tonight and what's the first thing I saw when I got off the plane? Starbuck's. Not to hijack the thread but a few first impressions, the cab drivers are CRAZY, you can actually get Guiness on tap in more than just one pub, Chicago has a beautiful skyline, 312 is a pretty good beer. I live in Oly, hence, the one Guiness town.
Edited by Neutrino (14/11/2007 02:41)
_________________________
No matter where you might be, there you are.
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#304018 - 14/11/2007 17:53
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: jimhogan]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 13/02/2002
Posts: 3212
Loc: Portland, OR
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Quote:
Quote:
I'm oddly disappointed -- from the headline, I thought this thread would be about how bland the sex is at Vegas brothels. Or maybe that's the answer to "Where are you?"
Well, I could be in Vegas...at a Starbucks.
I thought I would let this "Where am I?" question percolate for a bit
Ha!
Quote:
to see if anybody chimed in with "Starbucks, of course!" I wondered if it might be obvious.
Ah, see, I don't go to Starbucks on a frequent basis. When I do, it's just "Hi, can I get a regular hot chocolate, please," dispensing pretty much entirely with any idle chitchat such as "how was your weekend?"
The last time I went to Starbucks was a few months ago, and only because I was in Seattle and thought it would be funny to go to "the local coffee joint". 
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#304019 - 14/11/2007 23:35
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: canuckInOR]
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pooh-bah
Registered: 20/01/2002
Posts: 2085
Loc: New Orleans, LA
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Ick... I can't stand Starbucks' coffee. They severely overburn the beans. Then again, I like chickory, so go figure.
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#304020 - 15/11/2007 00:28
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: lectric]
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old hand
Registered: 27/02/2003
Posts: 777
Loc: Washington, DC metro
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Quote:
Ick... I can't stand Starbucks' coffee. They severely overburn the beans. Then again, I like chickory, so go figure.
Mmm... Community Coffee.
-jk
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#304021 - 15/11/2007 10:56
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: jmwking]
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pooh-bah
Registered: 09/08/2000
Posts: 2091
Loc: Edinburgh, Scotland
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We have a Starbucks next to the office, but I always walk an extra block to Caffe Nero, for the dramatic quality difference
_________________________
Rory
MkIIa, blue lit buttons, memory upgrade, 1Tb in Subaru Forester STi
MkII, 240Gb in Mark Lord dock
MkII, 80Gb SSD in dock
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#304022 - 15/11/2007 11:05
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: frog51]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 10/06/1999
Posts: 5916
Loc: Wivenhoe, Essex, UK
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I'm also a big fan of Cafe Nero. However if I am somewhere, want a coffee and have a choice of the big chains, then I'll pick Starbucks if there is no Cafe Nero. The reason is consistency. Starbucks clearly train their staff better than the other big chains. If I get a coffee in a Starbucks then I can be reasonably sure it has been vaguely competently made. In the other big chains half the time you end up with a cup full of milk with a distinct lack of any coffee taste. So Starbucks might not have the best taste, but at least I know what I am going to get and that it is likely to be drinkable. Edit: I have an exception to this rule, if I was in Seattle then I'd choose Seattle's Best Coffee instead, unless I was at Pike Place in which case I'd be at _the_ Starbucks, just because you can... (actually in reality if I was in Seattle I'd probably be drinking a Tully's Espresso Shake in preference to a coffee) 
Edited by andy (15/11/2007 11:09)
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#304023 - 17/11/2007 14:01
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: andy]
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pooh-bah
Registered: 06/04/2005
Posts: 2026
Loc: Seattle transplant
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I'll have to try Tully's in Seattle next time I'm there. I tried it under very poor circumstances ("coffee" at the new San Francisco Baseball park) recently and was seriously disappointed. McDonald's does a better job. As for 'big chains'... I usually get a Starbucks about once a month. Others around here (SF Bay Area) like Peet's Coffee, but if I can find a local joint then that's where I prefer to leave my cash.
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10101311 (20GB- backup empeg)
10101466 (2x60GB, Eutronix/GreenLights Blue) (Stolen!)
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#304024 - 17/11/2007 14:16
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: Robotic]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 10/06/1999
Posts: 5916
Loc: Wivenhoe, Essex, UK
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I should say I have never actually tried a coffee at Tully's, I've only ever had the Espresso Shake (espresso ice cream, a shot of espresso and coffee beans) there. Luckily most of the times I've been to Seattle it has been over 30C, hence ideal for Espresso Shakes, I realise this isn't 100% representative of its year-round climate
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Remind me to change my signature to something more interesting someday
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#304025 - 20/11/2007 02:13
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: canuckInOR]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 06/10/1999
Posts: 2591
Loc: Seattle, WA, U.S.A.
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Quote:
Ah, see, I don't go to Starbucks on a frequent basis. When I do, it's just "Hi, can I get a regular hot chocolate, please," dispensing pretty much entirely with any idle chitchat such as "how was your weekend?"
This is what gets me Stepford-wise. You may be in a Starbucks and have barely opened your mouth when the robots start asking you how your weekend was or how your morning is going. Completely inhuman, I think.
Quote:
The last time I went to Starbucks was a few months ago, and only because I was in Seattle and thought it would be funny to go to "the local coffee joint".
For a while I completely avoided Starbucks because I had a number of superior local alternatives (small single-instance coffee shops). In my current employ, I don't have anyplace nearly as handy where I can get decent coffee and park for a while in the morning and read. I actually like Starbucks coffee just fine and it is, as others have said, dependable.
Well, I have sworn off Starbucks until 2008 thanks to their premature holiday decor....but I stopped at a smaller local outfit last week (Cafe Ladro) and before I could even make eye contact the baristdroid -- a girl I have never met before and who doesn't know me from Adam -- starts asking me "So how's your morning going?". It was obvious that Starbucks had placed some pods in their shop overnight, so I quickly told her "Shitty! Completely Shitty! It's the worst fucking morning I have had in years!!"
It worked. I could see the slight cast form over her retina, so I made my move. I slammed my $2.00 on the counter, grabbed my grande half-caf drip, and made a run for it.
_________________________
Jim
'Tis the exceptional fellow who lies awake at night thinking of his successes.
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#304026 - 20/11/2007 15:16
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: jimhogan]
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addict
Registered: 25/06/2002
Posts: 456
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I have two slightly conflicting comments.
First, there is (or used to be) regional variation in this sort of interaction.
In small towns in the South or Southwest, the normal social expectation was that you have a little bit of friendly chit-chat with a shop-keeper or clerk prior to checkout even if you've never met and will never see each other again.
While trying such banter in the Northeast might earn you a glare or a suspicious stare thinking you are going to try to sell them something or recruit them to your cult.
That said, I have a complaint similar to yours about Taco Bell drive-throughs recently. (Yeah, I know. I really really shouldn't.) Now when you drive up, they ask "how are you doing?" not "what would you like?" What the heck? They can't even see me!
Even stranger than that, when you say, "I'm doing fine" there's a big pause before they think to say "what would you like to order?"
My social skills are at a loss here. What's the expected behavior?
Do people just ignore the "how's it going?" and immediately start ordering?
What's the point in delaying a long drive-through line of cars to make sure a stranger you can't even see is having an adequate day?
You know why I'm here. You know that I'm ready to order and quickly get away. That's why I'm at a fast food restaurant and still in my car.
If I had more time, wouldn't I be choosing a healthier option?
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#304027 - 20/11/2007 15:31
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: music]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 25/12/2000
Posts: 16706
Loc: Raleigh, NC US
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In such situations, I generally either just go straight into my order, which, I'm sure, is what the person is expecting anyway, since he's just been told by his management that he's required to say that, or maybe just say "fine, thanks" and immediately start giving my order.
I stopped feeling guilty about this when one day I realized that at some drive-thrus the initial voice is just a recording so that the person taking the order doesn't actually have to perform that initial interaction with you.
On a related note, and this has mostly gone away, it really irritated me when they would ask if I wanted a particular item as part of the greeting: "Good morning would you like to try a value meal?" That just requires me to say no and then go on to what I wanted to order. Of course, I suppose it might help those people that get to the register after a several minute wait in line and then start deciding what it is they want.
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Bitt Faulk
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#304028 - 20/11/2007 20:04
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: wfaulk]
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addict
Registered: 25/06/2002
Posts: 456
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Quote:
I suppose it might help those people that get to the register after a several minute wait in line and then start deciding what it is they want.
That brings up 2 more whines.
Some places have a duplicate menu board farther back in the line so you can look at it and decide what you want. That's good. Other places have large menu boards tilted so that you can see them a few cars back. Also good.
But it's annoying when they have only one board, it isn't visible until you are directly in front of it, and you're trying to figure out what to get with the four bucks and thirty-seven cents you have in your wallet.
Which brings me to Whine B.
It's damn near impossible to order "a la carte" off of modern menu boards which consist mostly of giant pictures of the combos and a bit of text which lists a tiny subset of their foods and beverages in a fairly scrambled order. And of course you have to spend time looking at the pictures to interpret what they are. Since I can actually read, I find this quite annoying. And since I never eat fries, NO combo is EVER acceptable. So I find myself poking around the disorganized menu board trying to assemble a semi-edible somewhat affordable meal based on how much change is in my coin tray.
Anyway, Bitt, sometimes I'm one of "those" guys.
Sorry about that. I'm just doing the best I can.
And by the way, when they say "Hi, would you like to buy an X today" I just immediately think "What in the world would have made you think I would ever want an X? Did I ask for an X? Do I look like an X sort of guy? Did you just drop an X on the floor that you're going to have to pay for if you don't unload it immediately?"
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#304029 - 20/11/2007 20:08
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: music]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 25/12/2000
Posts: 16706
Loc: Raleigh, NC US
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Yeah, I was thinking more of in-store lines. And I totally agree about the combo-only menus. Really irritating. I won't drink HFCS any more, so combos are out for me, too.
_________________________
Bitt Faulk
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#304030 - 21/11/2007 02:19
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: music]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 06/10/1999
Posts: 2591
Loc: Seattle, WA, U.S.A.
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Quote:
I have two slightly conflicting comments.
First, there is (or used to be) regional variation in this sort of interaction.
In small towns in the South or Southwest, the normal social expectation was that you have a little bit of friendly chit-chat with a shop-keeper or clerk prior to checkout even if you've never met and will never see each other again.
I'd be amazed if I ever went into a boulangerie in France and you didn't have a little "Bonjour Madama...Bonjour Monsieur" type of exchange. It's a nice little social custom and norm. A little formal acknowledgment.
And I have no problem walking into a coffee shop and engaging in the equivalent "Good morning"-type ritual.
What I object to at the Stepford Coffee Company and so many other places is that these little friendly exchanges are stage managed. I have no doubt that they have a little 3-ring binder with tips on how to greet customers with heartwarming phrases like "How was your weekend?"
Worse, the androids are not programmed to do things like make eye contact before inflicting their pre-programmed catch phrases on customers.
It's not just huge coffee companies. It runs through most of the franchise food and service businesses that offer shitty service.
Deja Vu. I've ranted this rant before.
But now the disease is spreading. Even that little coffee shop is studying the Starbucks customer engagement manual.
_________________________
Jim
'Tis the exceptional fellow who lies awake at night thinking of his successes.
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#304031 - 21/11/2007 04:10
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: jimhogan]
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addict
Registered: 25/06/2002
Posts: 456
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Quote:
What I object to at the Stepford Coffee Company and so many other places is that these little friendly exchanges are stage managed.
Agreed. Faux cheeriness is far worse than brusque efficient indifference.
I don't mind a little training to teach the manners-impaired that "Whaddya want" isn't the best way to greet a customer, but mandating a precise interaction script is creepy.
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#304032 - 21/11/2007 09:01
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: jimhogan]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 18/01/2000
Posts: 5683
Loc: London, UK
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Quote:
I'd be amazed if I ever went into a boulangerie in France and you didn't have a little "Bonjour Madama...Bonjour Monsieur" type of exchange. It's a nice little social custom and norm. A little formal acknowledgment.
I learnt something interesting from the wife when we were in Provence a month or so back.
In the UK (and, I assume, in the US), a shop is a public place. It's treated as an extension of the street. In this way, you can wander in, wander around and wander back out, without any conversation with the staff.
In France (and maybe other places in Europe), a shop is treated kinda like the proprieter's living room. It's their shop; it's an extension of their domain. You're meant to be polite when you visit, even if it's just a simple "bonjour" and "au revoir".
If you don't, then you're being impolite.
I don't know how universally true this is, but it certainly rang true in Provence.
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-- roger
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#304034 - 21/11/2007 14:18
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: Robotic]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 25/12/2000
Posts: 16706
Loc: Raleigh, NC US
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Gatorade is also full of HFCS, though sometimes it is labeled as "glucose-fructose syrup".
_________________________
Bitt Faulk
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#304035 - 21/11/2007 15:14
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: jimhogan]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 20/12/1999
Posts: 31600
Loc: Seattle, WA
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Quote:
What I object to at the Stepford Coffee Company and so many other places is that these little friendly exchanges are stage managed.
Yeah, this is the verbal equivalent of "Flair" and I hate it, too.
On the other hand, if the employees could be genuinely cheery and chatty without coaching, the company wouldn't need to implement verbal Flair rules.
Then again, if the companies could make their places of business an environment which fostered cheery, chatty employees, maybe they would get cheery, chatty employees...
Naw, the three-ring binder is cheaper, easier, and faster.
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#304036 - 21/11/2007 16:28
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: tfabris]
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addict
Registered: 25/06/2002
Posts: 456
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I don't really like talking about my flair.
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#304037 - 21/11/2007 16:48
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: music]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 20/12/1999
Posts: 31600
Loc: Seattle, WA
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What about Cher? She's got flair to spare.
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#304038 - 21/11/2007 17:39
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: wfaulk]
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carpal tunnel
Registered: 13/02/2002
Posts: 3212
Loc: Portland, OR
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Quote:
Gatorade is also full of HFCS, though sometimes it is labeled as "glucose-fructose syrup".
Any suggestions on a sports drink that doesn't contain HFCS?
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#304039 - 21/11/2007 20:25
Re: The homogenization of commercial intercourse
[Re: tfabris]
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veteran
Registered: 21/01/2002
Posts: 1380
Loc: Erie, CO
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Quote:
What about Cher? She's got flair to spare.
Don't you dare go there.
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