Does anyone here use shared calendars within iCloud? Do you have shared alerts working? I don't mean notifications showing if an event's been added, changed etc, I mean the alert or reminder that an event's about to start. There is frequently confusion with these terms.

I created an iCloud calendar for family entries (for my wife and I - our children are only toddlers at this stage) and shared it privately. I add events, my wife's phone gets the notification and it appears in her shared calendar. It syncs back and forth no problem. Going the other way works fine too. Great.

EXCEPT

The alerts I set up do not make it to her side. They appear on mine (Outlook iCloud connector, the iCloud web interface and a Mac's iCal client). Likewise any event created on her side (iPhone 5 iOS 8 and iCloud web client) comes through fine but has no alert that I can see.

I've found nothing concrete, although Apple's spin implies that it should work properly. I found a few threads saying what I want may even have been disabled by Apple because people were complaining about getting alerts for a shared calendar of their spouse i.e. the spouse had one calendar only and shared everything. I wanted to have a specific "Family" calendar that will only contain family relevant events. I will keep a separate calendar for my daily stuff that is only relevant to me. Just things like doctor's appointments, family events etc.

I even went as far as setting up the full Apple Family Sharing thing and that does exactly the same thing. A simple privately shared calendar worked the same.

Google has the same problem and there's one big support thread on it that's been going for years with no response from them. In the interest of disclosure I'm mainly using Android and Windows myself, but given the Apple web client shows the same problem, I'm pretty sure it's not my cross-synchronisation of calendars. I also tried using Google's calendar and meeting invites but sending events through it lost the reminders as well.

Anyone? Bueller?