I wonder why it wants a phone book download from an audio device?
It thinks (or perhaps just assumes) that your device is a phone.
When I pair, my stereo asks a similar question about whether I want the car to automatically make an emergency phone call if the car detects that it got in a wreck.
Perhaps I have the Bluetooth Class of Device wrong?
The iWRAP stuff says the code just has to send OK in response to such, as in:
SSP CONFIRM a0:56:b2:4c:66:30 OK
So I added a line to the table to do that automatically, and it does it.
If you haven't already tried this, see if adding the other code I suggested above (spitting the line back including the number instead of the OK) works, *instead* of the OK line added to the table?