No, not the rather bad Australian soap opera.

I'm referring to the people who comprise your neighbourhood merely because they happen to be living next to you. One of whom in my case has, completely out of the blue, decided to open hostilities by calling the local council and claiming that I'm running a business from home, thus triggering one of the drones from the business rates department to come round, wake me out of a sound sleep, and ask silly questions. Admittedly, she was young, blonde, and attractive, so it wasn't all bad

There isn't a case to answer as far as I can determine, since, although I work from home as a self-employed layabout, I don't 'run a business' in the manner they mean. I essentially do CAD work from home, mostly from the computer in my bedroom, which is no different from someone who writes novels or teleworks.

The information someone seems to have provided them with is that I have a lathe in the garage (true, but it's for hobby and car maintainance purposes, as is the milling machine, drill press, mig welder, etc, all of which is completely normal and aboveboard), that there are cables running down the back of the house (one cable, power from the distribution board which is at the front of the house to the garage which is at the back), and that I have several computers (true, but what the hell does this have to do with anything?) She appeared to be implying that I was making prefab motorway bridges in the garage or something like that, as opposed to trying to earn a living and minding my own business, something the neighbours are obviously bad at

I have no idea what brought all this on. I simply told her the truth and she went away apparently satisfied, but who decided to stir it up and why is a bit of a puzzle. It's obviously someone very local, close enough to either see in the window or know someone who can, but WHY is even more of a question. To the best of my knowledge I have done nothing to irritate anyone around here, certainly no one has ever complained.

The wife of the guy on the right is the most likely suspect, since she's a rather pretentious woman who obviously feels my presence devalues her horse-brasses and plaster tat stuck to her garden fence (I kid you not, it's I who should complain about HER), but she mainly constrains her behaviour to ostentatiously ignoring me at every opportunity. He on the other hand seems a nice enough fellow, and occasionally borrows tools from me. Everyone else around here either is perfectly pleasant in a distant sort of way (not just to me, everyone is like that to everybody), or in a few cases actually chats when we meet in the street.

It's puzzling, and annoying. I doubt it will go any further, but still it means there is someone around here who is malicious enough to try and get local government on my back, and I don't know who or why. Or when, even, although it must have been fairly recently.

Like I said, neighbours are a bad idea. I wish I didn't have them.

pca