I just had a men's room conundrum a few minutes ago with this thread fresh in my mind. I went in to drop a deuce, and saw that all 3 toilets were available, which is a rare occurrence. As I opened the door to crapper #1, I saw that there was a streak of doo-doo on the toilet seat. This is in the bathroom of a frickin' IT department within a Fortune 500 company! How does someone who can't control their own feces get hired here? Unbelievable! We have those tissue paper toilet seat thingies but I just can't get used to using those. I was so repulsed that I decided to hit the urinal instead and drop the kids off at the pool later.

Maybe my company needs a 3 day training class on how to take a shit properly.