ahh figured it out. taped the multimeter on the wires and backed down the driveway and it dropped to 4v shortly and then back up to 12v. turns out it has a VSS wire (vehicle speed sensor) that also gives 12v at startup.so faster you go this wire turns the volume up automatically on the stock stereo. My connector was the wrong one for my model. i found the correct wire its now working great.

blush