DUDE! I finally came across a solution for my similar problem. Have you seen the RocketFish?

My current setup has my home theater set up against the bottom of a staircase. So to the left is the bottom of the stairs, our front entry/doorway, and a set of door-height windows. To the right is an open pathway to our kitchen. The room is very long. The flooring is wood laminate on top of a concrete slab. The only option is to go overhead, and I just didn't have the money to spend on that.

The RocketFish has some drawbacks (can't control volume from the receiver, occasional buzzing can be heard when very close, and it's more always-on electronics), but from the very first surround sound content my wife and I watched on it, I knew it was worth these minor issues. It was so painful losing those rear speakers. I'll never go back!

Oh, and naturally, I ordered the used ones for $69 instead of the $110+.