Is this what you're after? They have a fairly high flow rate and will withstand mains water pressure. They're similar to a 12v version of a washing machine fill valve. Any decent home automation system should be able to drive a 12v 0.25A line, if only by a relay. I use these for various computer-controlled fluid mixing applications. They're cheap and reliable.

pca
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Experience is what you get just after it would have helped...