About the turntable comment... I have a turntable and use it weekly. If I really like a CD and it happens to be on vinyl, I usually buy both. There is just something about vinyl that appeals to me. My main turntable is an '80s Technics with automatic linear tracking. Nothing expensive.

On the 17 year old dipsh*t bit... I was 19 when I acquired my first empeg. However, I never worked at 7-11.