Bagels in the freezer, cos then they are easy to pop in the toaster.
Ketchup - in the bin, along with Mayo (except my wife has some in the fridge)
Maple Syrup - in a tin in a cool cupboard
Honey - on the windowsill (well, it was a handy space, and it looks so good with the sun shining through it) It never goes bad.
All sauces - in a cupboard.
Milk - as cold as possible before freezing ensues (although I do like milk straight from the cow. Well, into a cup rather than...you know)
Beer and alcopops - in fridge
White wine - in fridge
Bombay Sapphire gin and Smirnoff vodka - in freezer

And I may be a freak too:

Eggs - ideally raw, liquidised into drinking chocolate, but these days that isn't such a safe option, so I guess sunny-side-up for me.
Lemoncurd or Marmite - spread on thick slices of mature cheddar cheese (or alternatively wrap the cheese in honey roast ham and cover with maple syrup.
BK or McD french fries with chocolate mousse
Real chips with Edinburgh chippy sauce.