1. I'd go this route. While two clients can talk directly to each other without an AP, it's not well supported. However, if the empeg's wireless adapter could reach the AP, then so could the laptop, so you'd be good there.
In the car while on the road, the laptop and WET11 would be in range of eachother, but not an AP in the house. Does "not well supported" mean that it's unlikely to work with cards from other vendors?

2. I'm not sure what you're talking about in regards to toggling between client and AP modes. You mean on the empeg? You should be able to get a DHCP IP address regradless of where in your network you are, so you wouldn't need to toggle. The only difference between using a WAP11 in client mode and using a WET11 is that the WAP11 can support more devices than the single one that the WET11 can.
With a WAP11 in client mode, it could talk to a WAP11 in AP mode in the house, but while on the road, what would it take for a laptop to then talk to the WAP11? Is it something that needs to be changed via the web interface to tell the WAP11 to be an AP no, and not a client?

3. It doesn't look like the BEFW11S4 can be a client. Of course, you could set it up the other way around. There's no reason the WAP11 couldn't be the client of the BEFW11S4.
Interesting idea. Since the BEFW11S4 is cheaper, put one in the house since the house wouldn't ever need to be a client.

The idea situation is to have all the following features:
- Walk around the house with a laptop
- Upload music to the car wirelessly
- connect to the empeg from a laptop while on the road (http, telnet, emplode, etc)

I was thinking that I'd need DHCP in the car, but if the empeg does link-local and 802.11b cards do as well, then it wouldn't really matter.
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--The Amigo