Well, my political prognostication credentials are in the toilet after my bald Dean assertions (somebody could made a hundred bucks off of me), but I can't let that stop me!

Dean: "He says 20 brilliant things and then 2 incredibly stupid things" i heard some pundit say. Yep. Tho, he may mature and may be back. Stranger things have happened. I mean. look at Nixon!

Back to the present:

2004: Bush (or is it Cheney) gets to deploy Cheney as media attack dog without worrying about the negative aftertaste of attack ads and vitriolic Cheney appearances on Meet the Press because --- bling! -- right before labor day Cheney announces that he is stepping aside for _____reasons. This allows the one guy in the administration with a small shred of cred (yes, even after all that UN BS) and some gravitas to accept the VP nomination and improve the GOP's situation among African-American voters. (seriously, one "oopsie" and the first African-American president). In alternate-Republican-universe-#1, Cheney agrees in late November to serve as special national security advisor -- the High Plains, protestant Kissinger -- and continues to rule the world! Condeleeza Rice's title changes and she is seen less on TV.

Digression: is it just me? Am I being sexist? racist? Is Rice actually smart? I seem to be missing it. What am I missing?

In the Democrat alternate universe, Kerry continues to get hammered by 100 million dollars worth of Bush commercials accusing him of wishy-washiness (and some of these could be absolutely correct). Kerry starts wishing he had the limited voting record of Howard Dean, but negotations to swap fall apart. Dean still refuses to vote for the Iraq war! Kerry's underfunded pollster phone banks reveal that anyone slightly left of center would hold their nose and vote for Andrew Dice Clay, Darl McBride or a two-week-old piece of road kill over George Bush, so the battle starts to focus on the center. None of the potential Democratic VP candidates poll any better, but a "stealth" poll of independent voters reveals one tipping vote getter: John McCain. He's pissed, he's back, and he's gonna balance a budget.

Digression: I happened to stumble on a new book in my branch library (Sailors to the End) that recounts the catastrophic 1967 fire on the USS Forrestal. Did not know until I picked up the book that it was McCain's A4 that was on the recieving end of the misfired rocket that started the whole explosive mess that killed 140 sailors. Some *very* interesting tidbits in there also regarding another fire on the carrier Oriskany and how *not* to handle magnesium flares in a crisis.

So, there's my political Bizarro World. let's see how I do this time!