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I'm not referring to any past debates or discussions.

I will take you at your word on that, but "please stop being condescending" certainly alludes to a perceived pattern, and not one incident.
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I was under the impression that the rate at which alcohol is absorbed into the body is a direct result of the water content of the person.

Yes, but the flaw in your logic is that the "water content of a person" dwarfs the quantity of water than a person could possibly suck down and introduce into their bloodstream for the ride home. Of course, all your points about heavier people and women of the same weight are true, but regardless of weight or sex, nobody can consume enough water to measurably change their BAC level, or, certainly, their ability to drive a car. They'd probably overdose on water first.
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- Tony C
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